You know my name, not my story.

This blog is a part of my life. This is who I am, my goals, my dreams and my fuck ups.

Saturday, November 21, 2009

Hunger is a feeling. Thin is a skill.

Hi. I'm not really cheery this morning. Why is when you are at ur strongest is when it decides to die? Sure i completed my fast with flying colors. I beat my plateau of 109. I was 108.5 AMAZING! but the next morning my mom was forcing me to eat breakfast. She said "have an apple, or leftover pizza." So did i eat the apple...NO i ate the effing pizza! DAMN IT! Then i had a field trip. Did i eat my 500 cal lunch? No, luckily but i did eat a personal bag of Cheetos and a personal bag of Frito's. Then a lollipop and a 140 cal fiber one bar. i probably ate 700 cals. Just for lunch. gross, then i went to the movies with my friends, i had a low cal monster -20, then we got ice cream, but instead of ice cream i got fries instead. ewwwwww. I'm a fat failed anorexic disgusting pig. My CW is 111. I GAINED 3 POUNDS. WTF!!!!

I'm going to fast today. My will power ain't so good. But i'm going to follow Nikki's plan of doing 20 jumping jacks every hour. Then i set my alarm on my phone to send me little messages during the day. Like "Ana would be proud." or "nothing tastes as good as thin feels." "That stomach pain is your fat melting away...." Try it. It helps me!

Oh yea. I was thinking. Remember when we were kids, and when we actually saw someone anorexic and we would say "ewww! her bones are sticking out!" or we'd make jokes about them being skeletons. I wonder when that changed. When one day i went "well, she's actually really pretty. Those bones are perfection..." How weird, that your brain can suddenly just go "nope! she's really pretty!"

Just saying.

More later.

Ana luv to you
Starve On,
~Riki Ana

P.S. The pizza guy spitting on it was a great idea!
P.S.S Hope you all are doing better in your weights.
P.S.S.S. Oh yea, now i'm going to be a fat pig at my dance. Great.

Luv you all! BYEEEE!!!!!!!!


  1. awesome plan, setting your alarm to send you messages! i never thought of that :)