You know my name, not my story.

This blog is a part of my life. This is who I am, my goals, my dreams and my fuck ups.

Friday, November 6, 2009

A moment on the lips, forever on thy hips

Not much to report, i woke up today with a KILLER headache. I think I'm getting sick again.

I binged yesterday, ugh. I went walking with my friend and i was doing good, then we stopped at another friends house. Their house is food central. Every goodie you could imagine. I ate a lot. ugh. When i got home i checked for blog updates and someone was saying how if you take a cold shower it will burn over 400 cals. because of all of the shivering. I decided that since i ate so much, i should try it. So i got into the shower ice cold. Brrr. I was dying! i had to put on some sort of hot water into it. I put it as cold as i could stand it. But i think it worked because even with the binge I'm down half of a pound bringing my weight to a sad, but could be worse 107.5

So my Fresh start diet was a failure. Oh well. I can't do those kinds of things. I hate knowing i can only eat 700 cals, etc. I like deciding that day and seeing how little i can get away with. In my mind it's like "Oh you can eat 800 calories? You've only had 200...FOOD TIME!" ugh.

My mom decided to be nice and bought my FAVORITE chips. Tortilla chips. So bad yet soooooooooo good! they are just waiting for me...ugh. I'll see how long i can last. Hopefully everyone eats them before i get a chance.

Oh more bro news. Yesterday he stepped on the scale and was like "YES! i went up 2lbs!" bringing his weight to a muscular 166. Then he was like "Oh Riki, that's how much you weigh right?" being a total dick. i was like "No, i weight 115" LIE. That's 5lbs below my ideal weight limit. If only he knew i was 107.5 I wonder what he'll say then. So then he's like "Sure you do. *cough*166*cough*" Ugh.

I think one of the reasons i got an ED was because of my family. It was always my bro was the smart one, my sis was the pretty athletic one. I was always just known as the skinny one. Then my sister became skinnier over the years...And i lost my title. Then i was just Riki. But I'm getting my title back. No matter what.

Ugh, i feel so horrible writing. I feel like I'm going to throw up.... I'm totally getting sick. FML
Let me be better, NO DOCTOR PLEASE!

Winter chills coming down.
All my calories a frown.
For my shivering is making them die.
So that one day i may fly.

hehe I hoped you liked my crappy poem i just came up with.
Going to have some tea.
Ana luv to all off you!
~Riki Ana


  1. At least you're down in weight. Hopefully you'll get back on track soon and can I ask whether you have a goal weight or ?

    I have that "skinnier one" problem with my cousin. I was always thinner than her but I ate like a freaking inmate. So she got thinner over the years (the healthy way.. ughhh) and now I'm just way bigger than her.

    I remember though last summer when I still hadn't put on any weigh and lost like 15lbs she was like... Sophia, you've gotten thinner and I know she wants to get thinner and dislikes (envies) too thin people, like Angelina Jolie.

    Good luck again.

  2. Hey!
    I've been keeping up with your blog and I love it!
    But I WAS Ana last year and got down to 112..I'm 5'6". Now I'm at huuuge 140. It sucks so much. Actually it more than sucks. It is the number one worst feelin ever as you probably know...
    I just want the old happy me back.
    I started restricting about 3 days ago but haven't been satisfied, I always one just one more slice. So do you suggest not having a 'limit' for the day and just seeing the least amount calories you can get away with er what?
    Please write back at the end of your next blog..
    I'm desperate.
    Thanks. Much love :)

  3. Lol, you don't have an ED. You're wannarexic.