You know my name, not my story.

This blog is a part of my life. This is who I am, my goals, my dreams and my fuck ups.

Saturday, March 27, 2010

Day of the fast

This morning at weigh in i was....
108.5 lbs!
Not bad, if i do say so myself.
I hope to be at 106.5 by tomorrow. I just want to get away and past 107. I always get stuck there and then yo-yo back up to 110 then down to 107 then back up.... Bleh i'm sick of that.

I'm half way through with my first liter of water. In my second liter i'll add 1 packet of crystal light so that's 10 cals. then for "dinner" i'll have another packet so my total for the day will be 20 cals. YEA!

Oh yea i was reading the back and it turns out the kind i bought was "energy" so it has caffeine. Yummy. It gives me that little energy boast i need to start my day. I really encourage you all to try any kind of these drink mixes. They kill cravings like nobody's business! Wild strawberry is my favorite. :)
So that's all for now. Here's the thinspo i promised!

Of course i has swim thinspo. Remember summer is coming!


~Riki Ana

For whoever is fasting with me today.




Friday, March 26, 2010

Fasting tomorrow

Anyone want to join? it will be liquids only.

For me i'm only having crystal light, coke zero and water.
Man, i need to shed these unwanted pounds. *sigh*

Today i had 4 liters of water. Yay. But too many calories. Boo, oh well nothing like a good plain FAST to get you hyped up.

It's 10:33 here, heading to bed soon I need my 8-9 hours before a long day tomorrow. (Well, not really...Boring life remember?)

Maybe some thinspo since i'll have some time to spare tomorrow.

Love you all.

Sweet Dreams
~Riki Ana

Thursday, March 25, 2010

Back, and ready for action.

I haven't posted in the past few days, but i'm back and ready to go.

You all left such encouraging comments. i <3 u!

Today, i went to the food store and bought some great low-cal stuff.
-Cheerios Crunch-100 cals for 3/4 cup
-5 non fat yogurts in all different flavors.(Even chocolate!) Yum. 100-110 cals
-Crystal light-5 cals for half a packet (couldn't find any zero cal ones) D: oh well.
-Sugar Free jello- 10 cals per serving
-Reusable water bottles.


Tomorrow i'm preparing for my Saturday fast, so under 300. I'm excited top be back in the game. I was reading the Anaregzig blog to re-inspire me, and boy did it work. She has such goods tips in here posts too. I hope she will return soon....

Sorry for the short post. It's 8pm here and i have to do a project i haven't even started yet.....
gahh why am i such a procrastinator!

Ana love to you
~Riki Ana

btw- my current weight is 110. BOO! D: (Not to worry girls! My ass is going into gear tomorrow!)

Monday, March 22, 2010



Here is a message to myself.



Wait.... Times like this calls for a mega sad face.


Wow binges suck. I don't even get the happy food feeling anymore. Now it's just anger, and sadness.

WELL, NO MORE! Tomorrow is a new day. NO MATTER what the scale shows me... :( I will NOT emotional binge.

Grr, i'm so mad at myself.

Show me how it's done ladies. Show me how it's done.
~Riki Ana

Sunday, March 21, 2010


107.5 lbs!!!!!!!


Ok so yesterday i went to the mall, all i had there was a couple water bottles and a diet coke. Then when i got home around 7-ish i had some chips/pretzels :(

But still after walking around for a shitload of time i STILL lost weight. THANK YOU LORD!

Today is Sunday and luckily i'll be some-what busy. I still have to,
-go to church
-work on some school projects :(
-walk the dog
-clean my room D:

And some other crap. If i didn't have that small binge yesterday, i'd probably be at 107, but to get rid of that .5 i'll work extra hard!

I'll probably be at 105 by Tuesday or Wednesday...

At the mall yesterday, the dressing rooms were...depressing. For some reason i somehow believe i can fit in sizes WAYYYYY too small for me. At "lunch" when i felt like i was going to give in, i went to a store before, and tried on a pair of tiny ass short shorts, so reverse thinspo and BOY, DID IT WORK. ewwwie, my legs are mega gross. I recommend this girls, try on a tiny pair of shorts before you eat and see if you still feel like eating.

Man i love you guys! You guys are the best thinspiration out there! Knowing i have to come home and write a depressing entry about everything i ate, makes me want to never eat again. Without you and this blog, i don't even want to know what i would look like. *shutter*

Right now, i haven't eaten or drank anything(should probably start some water...) and i look...ok. My stomach is kinda flat, i still have some bulge. My arms....They look thin, but if you pull on them or i move they are flabby. My legs...... Let's not go there.... So i need to get in shape and start a toning work out for summer.

Sorry girls, no matter how much i try, for some reason, summer wouldn't stop coming. D:

Oh well, we'll show summer whose boss!

This past week was hot as hell where i live. So i was wearing leggings one day. :( And soon i might have to break out the shorts..... Gahh, i'm not ready for shorts!

Anyway that's me freaking out ^^

~Riki Ana

Starve on

Friday, March 19, 2010

-Crossing the line-

Hola, my chickaboo's. How are we all doing today?

Oh me?

Well.... I don't even want to say what i ate so i'll just tell you my weight.

Not bad....ish.

Tomorrow=NO FOOD And i mean it.

Anyone want to join??????

Pretty please? As you all know tomorrow i'm going to the mall, full of skinnies. YAY THINSPO! But of course there is always the threat of the Wetzels pretzels stands and thier sinfully Cinnamon Pretzel. Boo. And i can't even find out how many calories are in it because the website doesn't show it. Mega boo.

Whatever it's not like i'm going to let myself it anything anyway. I'm going to be there ALL DAY and around my friends if i don't eat they don't really care or notice.

So tomorrow,
Diet soda


Another thing,

Story time!

Ok so like two days ago i was walking home with my friend and somehow the topic came up(she doesn't know) And i asked what she'd do if i was anorexic. She said she'd probably wouldn't be friends with me. WTF?

I have a disorder and you dump me!

Her reasoning was, That she picks up habits easily and might pick up the bad eating habits.

Ok that's not a bad reason, but really! She isn't a saint either. Bleh. Whatever, what she doesn't know won't kill her. (Btw this is a different friend from last time)

I love her to death, i do. And if i get another fucking comment telling me otherwise, i WILL castrate someone!

One time a girl started to call her names and yell at her really badly and i flipped shit on her, ahh memories. :)

hehe, i'm so nice.
To sum it all up,

*Join the fast tomorrow
*i weigh 109
*and well that's pretty much it.

Also someone asked me what UGW meant, it means Ultimate Goal Weight. So it's like the final weight you want to get down to. Mine is 95lbs.

ANA LUV TO U ALL!!!!!!!!!
~Riki Ana

Wednesday, March 17, 2010


OH MY GOD, i can restrict! YAYAYAYAYAYAY!

Diet coke,
2 bites of dinner,
1 cinnamon roll,
1 bowl of salad,
And something else but i can't remember it.
But i remember the total was like 600-700 cals.

1 rice crispy treat,
3 bites of dinner,
Diet coke,
Again something else, but bad memory.
I ate 500-650 cals.


Then today, i felt amazing. Like nothing could stop me from becoming perfect. of the most dreaded words, C-U-P-C-A-K-E. and of course,

But, the good news is,
This morning at weigh-in, I was.....

108 lbs!

So tomorrow, if i abstain from eating for the rest of the day i should be,

Oh well, i'm still happy i've discovered how to restrict (with out many cravings!)

Want to know the secret?

Do you really want to know?

Are you sure?

Ok so it is.....


Who could have guessed?

The moment i woke up, i drank 1/4 of my bottle, the finished it and a second one before school. Then i drank one more bottle before lunch, one during lunch, one after lunch, one when i got home, one more before dinner, one more after dinner. Then repeated the cycle the next day. In between waters, i had my savior, diet coke.

So i was drinking 72 oz of water. (My bottle fills up to 9 oz) YAY!


On Saturday i'm going to the mall. So i want to be as thin as possible by then.

I've decided to try and fast on Friday's and Saturday's.

Why, might you ask?

Well, my mommy no longer works nights, EXCEPT Friday's, and Saturday's. So it's the only 2 days i can get away from her eagle eye. (oo) <---hehe That's her eagle eye...

I can't believe it's already March 17. Summer is a coming! :(

Sorry i haven't posted the past couple days, My sis was writing a long ass paper so the computer was under her 24 hr use.

I hope you all are in good modes as i am!
Tell me about your days if you want!

I love you guys with all my hearts (If that's not creepy )
~Riki Ana
P.s. When i was doing good, i was exciting thinking about telling you guys GOOD news for once!

Sunday, March 14, 2010

After the storm

Last night there was a major storm, the winds were really bad and trees were falling over and stuff, the power in other towns were going out. Scary.


Today i'm getting back on track. I have already weighed myself this morning, and i refuse to believe the number on the scale. Let's just say i'm not 110 anymore. D:

So far i have had nothing but it's only 9:37 am so not that big of an accomplishment.

I'm probably not going to be busy today so that not very good.


-go to church
-clean room
-walk dog
-study for french quiz tomorrow

Yea, i'm not that busy of a person...

Anyway, to the commenter i LOVE the blogs you posted, so THANKS! xxxx

There is a pic of beach thinspo for you guys and me to remember why we need to work so hard!

I hope you all have an amazing day.
Ana luv to you,
~Riki Ana
Starve On

Saturday, March 13, 2010


First off,

A amazing blog i found,

This girl is a fucking inspiration X's 10!!!

Please read it, you will not regret it.

Today i'm hanging out with a friend and :( probs going to eat.



I'm going to get back on track tomorrow.

I have great plan ready,
So sunday, my mom is off from work, so she watches me like a hawk. So for breakfast, i can usually get away with nothing, then lunch i'll have a
-soup at hand-70
-a snack- sugar free jello-10
dinner half of whatever she put on my plate (Hopefully i can just feed it to my dog) -like 2oo ish

so around 280-ish.


In my room i've put up pics of swimsuit skinnies from my Vouge i rewarded myself with, to remind myself that summer is coming! Dun Dun DUNNNNN!

Anyway that's all for now!

~Riki Ana
p.s. read her blog!

Friday, March 12, 2010

I miss you all

Hey everyone,

This is going to be short, but i had to post.

I'm a failure. I wasn't going to post but i'm forcing myself too. I'm not 111 though *thank god* but i'm still 110.5

Stupid cafeteria food. :(

I have a MAJOR headache. I wouldn't mind if it was a starving headache, cuz at least i'd be losing lbs, but this is a please-close-the-blinds-and-stop-shoving-food-in-your-fat-mouth kind of headache. And the worst thing is we don't have any Advil so i had to use asprin which doesn't do anything for me D: (that's a MEGA sad face btw)

So anyway, i'm going to try to be a good little Ana tonight but i am a fat fuck, so let's hope Ana is with me tonight.

You know what really gets me worked up and wanting to starve. Is whenever i'm eating i think about the millions of other Ana's out there, who are dizzy, hungry, and beautiful. How they are strong enough to not give in, so why am i eating?

Anyway that's just another thought in my effed up mind.

Love you with ALL my heart
Riki Ana

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Why yes, I am still alive

Hello everyone, sorry for disappearing, my week has been CRAZY.
This is going to be a pretty short post since i have to still do homework and other crap like that.

Today was...Ok-ish.
Granola bar-140
Rice krispy treat(the big kind)- 150
a LARGE low cal monster- 30
That equals 320 cals

Then for dinner i'm going to make a 70 cal vegetable beef soup at hand and water it down so it fill me up more.

So if i stick to that i'll be 390. which is good, and will hopefully make me lose weight, because *sad face* i'm....






My boring yet surprisingly busy life has kept me away from you beauties.

But sadly i have to cut this short and i'll try to post tomorrow.

~Riki Ana xoxo

Sunday, March 7, 2010


Fuck, FUCK, FUCK. Would someone like to explain to me, how 2 meals, 2 frikin measly meals, caused me to gain 2 FUCKING POUNDS!

well, Ok it wasn't just 2 meals.

Yesterday my Dad took us to the flea market. (we always go, it's like a family tradition) Anyway, i was trying to be a good little Ana and not eat, but i had a soft pretzel (that wasn't even good) Then apparently that wasn't "lunch" so i had to choose something else and i got french fries. My family had some too.

Then we got back to her house and she gave us pizza, with a side of chips. When i got back to my house i had a 3 granola bars.

Then angry with myself i decided to take the dog for a walk, hoping it would burn something.

I was expecting 108, but 109 UNACCEPTABLE.


well, that's what i would want it to be. But i can't since i have to go out to lunch for a birthday party for a extended family member. I've been to the place before, like 2 years ago, the food is good, which is often a sign of high calorie content. :( So, Salad here i come!

Ugh, i hate going up in weight after feeling lower. *sigh*

Anyway here's some thinspo for you lovely ladies, to inspire you to get to your goals!

I hope you have been inspired!
Have a lovely day my skinny minnies.
Riki Ana

Saturday, March 6, 2010

2nd post please read Sorryy first!!!

Hey everyone. Please read Sorryy first if you have not.


Anyway, let's hear about my weight shall we?

Dum dum dum!!!!!!!!


It would have been lighter, tho i'm not complaining, if i weren't have had a small binge yesterday. You see, i could have easily gone with out food. But today i'm going to hang out with my dad. Therefore we are going to be eating. But if i were to have fasted yesterday i would have not have eaten for 4 days, making my metabolism very s.l.o.w. And it wouldn't have taken the greasy food my dad is sure to give me very kindly. So i was worrying about whether to eat and jump start it last night. I decided to. I ate a granola bar. But i was happy with that so i had a few other things. :(

I felt so bad about it afterwords. I actually cried, like not full on tears but my eyes were watering. That has never happened after a binge before. I guess because now i'm so dedicated to you guys, and myself i don't want to fail.

Anyway i was expecting worse on the scale, but 107 is good enough for me! Today i ate a granola bar so that 100 cals. I don't really mind it though, i'm going to try to not eat today, but sooner or later my dad is going to force me. :( Maybe i can still be a little sick from the week. *cough cough* ;)

Now i'm in a bad mood. Well, not really bad but sad-ish. I feel bad i gave you guys wrong info from the tips and tricks. I feel like i lost my trust from you. :( I should have paid attention to what they said before i posted them. Me sorry.
I don't want my blog to encourage "wannarexics" So here is my warning,
If you are wannarexic please leave my blog, you will not be tolerated. Anorexia is a mental illness, not a game.

There you go. Damn i'm still sad. :(

~Riki Ana
Please forgive me for the Tips/Tricks post.


I want to apologize for what happened over the whole "Tips and Tricks." As you know they aren't mine and i got got them from the website i found. You guys have told me that these are for "wanarexics" and therefore i'm sorry about that.

Anonymous said...
I'm sorry but I just had to comment on mentioned at the start where you got these tips so you're not to blame for the inaccuracies if that's any consolation.

Firstly, Anorexia is not a disease or a way or life. It's a mental illness...with the highest fatality rate of any psychological disorder.

Secondly some of these tips are ridiculous, being cold causes your body to build up MORE fat to keep it warm not loose weight! And I've never heard of laxatives making you gain weight! Granted they don't help you loose healthy weight but that's a different story. Infact, as someone who has suffered severe anorexia for a long time and abused laxatives I know they actually cause you to loose muscle over long periods of time. That's bad.Have you any idea how hard it is to fake recovery and continue loosing weight without people noticing if you are an outpatient anyway? Unless some sees me eat I haven't eaten and therefore no one trusts me.

Diet pills and caffine pills are dangerous too, especially with lots of exercise - they can cause you to develop epilepsy. And why are you trying to put yourself off food? Most anorexics already hate food, they don't need the help!L

ook, I'm not against you Pro-Ana folk...I'll support anyone to get where they want to but please at least acknowledge that this is a serious illness and if you're gonna post tips at least make sure the facts are right.Take care, I hope you get to where ever you want to be without hurting yourself or anyone else too much - you don't deserve to get hurt by this illness. xx

Charlie said...
I am actually joined on that site, and honestly, those "tips" are just a way for wannarexics to "get anorexia".While Anonymous is stupid saying that most anorexics hate food (they don't hate food, they hate calories/fat and their bodies, and anorexia as well as other eating disorders are often signs of another underlying problem. Get it right, Anon.), those "tips" I've seen before, and they're honestly awful. Just another way for little thirteen and fourteen year olds to "get anorexia".

In response to that the anonymous responded ^^^^

Hi Charlie, it's the same anonymous...I see what you're saying, I probably should have been more clear with my post...though I'd appreciate if you didn't call me stupid - I've had anorexia since I was twelve and it's hell and I know the variety of reasons behind. I think it's probably different for everyone and sterotyping isn't going to help anyone so I'm just pointing out how can, not always, but can affect people. I'm scared of food and I'm scared of calories - just because an apple has about 50 calories in it doesn't stop me being scared and thus that fear leads, for me, to hate. And yeh, you are right - anorexia has deeper roots, it's a way of being in control, being the "best" - that's why it's a mental illness. Hope you are ok x


I truly hope that you guys don't stop reading my blog because of the inaccuracies of that post. If you prefer upon your request i will remove the previous post so know one gets wrong information. Once again, I'm sorry, i didn't mean to spark such a heated topic.

Love Riki Ana

Thursday, March 4, 2010

Tips and Tricks

So today is day three no food. May i say i'm VERY proud of myself. I haven't been able to fast in FOREVER, now i'm doing it with such an ease, it's as natural as breathing.

My current weight is......

*drummmmm rolllllll..............*

109lbs! WOO-HOO

I'm getting close to 105, 4 lbs to go. Yay!

*The tips and tricks have been removed due to inaccurate information*

~Riki Ana xoxoxo

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Time for a new Vogue!

Yes, you did read that title right. I current weight is 110 lbs! I would like to thank strep throat which is currently giving me a fever and making me tired, sick, and headaches.

so yep, i do have strep throat. That's why i wasn't able to post. Sucky sickness.

Yesterday i fasted all day, today i haven't eating anything either. Don't plan on it.

YAY! I'm so happy. Just being back on track is great. Next goal is 105-Manicure! i need one badly too.

While reading other girl's blogs it slapped me across the face that summer is coming. FUCK. It's already March 3rd. That means i only have 4 months (including the rest of March) to get to 95 by June 1st. AHHHHH! bathing suit season.

Come on girls! we can do this, i bet by June we all will look great. We need to get our asses in gear and get ready to wear our bikinis with pride! Think about it, Would you rather be wearing a long tee shirt to hide your flab, and getting chub-rub and being all sweaty and gross? OR be the envy of every other girl on the beach, have the eyes of everyone full of jealously while looking at our tone legs and thighs, with our flat stomachs, while they are pigging out on ice-cream and hot dogs, we will be enjoying an ice cold glass of water, or perhaps a diet coke.

We CAN do this, and we WILL.
Let's show everyone we can do this!

Do not sit and wish, the only way to get what you want is to DO.

Let's be strong girls. I'll post tips and tricks next time.

~Riki Ana