Looks like your not the thinnest girl in the room anymore.

That was said to me a couple days ago. May not seem that bad but oh it is.


I was at my dad's house enjoying dinner. Well cutting it up into tiny pieces. I had 3 small strips of steak and half of a spoon full of potatoes. I was eating with my my bro and his girlfriend, and she recently had the most horrible stomach flu EVER. I didn't last 1 day, no it lasted like 4 days. she dropped like 5-10 lbs. Making her 105. She looks like an Ana goddess. But she eats whatever she wants. One of those freaky metabolism people.

Anyway, she's really skinny from it and not gaining much weight now. So my dad says "Man, (her name here) you look so skinny! Riki, looks like your not the skinniest girl in the room anymore!"

Which i replied with "Guess not." and a laugh. Inside i was like FUCK.

So new motivation. Check.

Grrr. I will be the skinniest girl in the room.

Love,
~Riki Ana

<3

Blehhhh

Ugh, i've been doing crappy in general.



I've been freaking out since mid-terms are next week and i know literally NOTHING. And all my teachers are saying this pretty much end up being your final grade. :(



My foods teacher is giving us a mid term which is stupid. Come on it's foods! and yes, i am pro-ana and in foods class, i know, ironic much?

Anyway, tomorrow i'm going to start restricting. Under 800 let's go with.

When i checked last about 15 min ago, i was 116. but that was after 2 personal pizzas.... :(

~
"Fat, fat, fat, fat, big belly, big thighs, big jiggly arms." Ana whispered.
"...I know." I say defeated.
"If you LISTENED TO ME FOR ONCE, MAYBE YOU WOULDN'T BE 116!" Ana screamed.
"I'm sorry." i say with a tear sliding down my cheek.
"Riki, meet Mia. Mia, Riki." Ana said to the thin red eyed girl.
"No thank you." I say politely.
"What?" Ana said staggering back.
"I'm not taking the easy way out Ana. I deserve the number on the scale. I'll work it off, or rather starve it off. NOT puke it off." I say stubbornly.
"That's my girl." Ana says while lightly kissing my head, while waving away Mia.
~

So tomorrow i hope i do good.

Sorry i haven't posted in so long. :( Hello? Anyone out there??

Anyway, i want to say if you comment, don't say sorry for the long comment. lol I don't care if it takes up the whole page! Reading your comments make my day, if you have something to say, say it! I love hearing your thoughts!
~

So, i finished Wasted. At first i didn't like it. But then i reread it. More slowly this time. Instead of trying to finish it as fast as i could, i took my time reading each page, word. by. word.

It was actually really good. I like the end more than the beginning personally. When she gets to her lowest weight it's amazing yet so sad.

I'm not going to ruin it for you. I say read it. :)

She has a good point in it though. She talks about how most people with ED get to a point where they don't find the thin they are at attractive anymore. They just look dead. But they get thinner, mainly just curious to see how low they can get with out dying. then oops they died, guess that's too low.


Good book though, if your like me read it twice. It seems better the more you read.
~

I just started to notice that i suck my stomach in. Almost all the time whenever i'm around people. I suck it in as hard as i can, barely breathing. Maybe, i'm trying to look as thin as possible even though i've gained weight....

Sorry for the long post. I know you guys have lives unlike me. So i'll let you get back to them.

Have a great day, or night depending what time it is.

Peace out,
~Riki Ana

"So many thoughts that I can't get out of my head. I try to live without you, every time I do I feel dead. I know what's best for me. But I want you instead, I'll keep on wasting all my time." Over and Over by Three Days Grace

[insert awesome title here]

How is everyone doing??

I have only 1 thing to say. THANK GOD FOR THE WEEK END!

This week has been shit, to say the least. Right now i'm just bored, which is causing bored eating, which is fucking up my weight.

I'm at 113 last time i checked but i was wearing boots and clothing so like 112?

Ugh, i HATE winter. I know some people love it, but i fucking hate it with a passion.
Summer is my season, Fall too. Spring is too rainy and i get really worried with summer around the cornor.

But winter is horrible. Being stuck inside in the warm house making you feel all happy and fuzzy thinking "well maybe just a couple cookies...."

Summer is MY time. That's when i'm always at my lowest weight. By last year June i weighed 98 lbs. That was a good time. And man did i look good in that bikini.

I'm NOWHERE near bathing suit ready, but usually around spring once i'm out of the house more i usually start dropping.

So i can't wait for that.
~~

Not much more too say,

I'm almost done with wasted like 80 pages left or something like that. Good so far, excited to read the ending. I'll give you a full review once i'm done.

I feel like she would be upset if she read the stuff on pro-ana sites about that book. But i bet that book has saved a couple lives. It's very intense, very raw.

I hope you have a lovely weekend ladies!
Maybe i'll post something tomorrow, perhaps a thinspo treat hmmm????

LOVE!!!!
~Riki Ana :)

I want to be like barbie. The bitch has everything.

Ok, i give up on ABC. Stupid thing telling me how much i should eat. pshhhhhhh that.

Tomorrow i'm doing under 800. Trying to get my body to listen to me again.

WARNING ODD VENTING ABOUT TO OCCUR!
*sigh*

I'm in an odd mood today.

I just want to feel pretty for once.

But i know that's never going to happen.

I saw my collar bone for the past week. Made me happy, till i saw my stomach was the same.

I know i'm not good enough, and i'll NEVER be good enough.

My grades suck, i try but it's hard, then i don't want to study. Stupid fuck.
Everyone tells me i'm skinny. I wish i could myself through there eyes.
I'm at normal weight for my height. I wonder how i actually look.

I need to get back on track. I want to be skinny but does it have to be so damn hard?
"Of course it's hard" says Ana. "It's to weed out the weak and undeserving"
"Does that mean i'm undeserving?" I ask her.
"No my dear, you're just weak." She says with a small smile. "I'll fix it though"
"What will my life be like when i'm thin?" I ask her, like a small child asking her mother.
"It will be perfect." She says while kissing me on the head.
~

Sorry if that was weird...

In other news I'm reading Wasted.
In other blogs i heard it was amazing and great inspriation and THINspiration.
From many other anas including the famous AnaRegzig, it is called the "Ana Bible"

I'm only someway in. Let's see if it's as good as all the hype.
~
Sorry for the crappy post my dears.
Love,
~Riki Ana

"No matter how much you push it down, Hunger is always there. The day it's gone is when you discover you miss it. Keep it there let it gnaw at you, begging you for one bite. So for when you say No, you feel better. Even if only for a moment..." - Me <3 xx

If you're a freak and you know it, clap your hands!

Ahh, my lovely readers. How i have missed you.



It has only been a couple days but so much has happened.



The reason i posted thinspo was because i needed a pick me up because the ABC hasn't been going as planned....



So far it's been 4 days of it. I've failed ALL FOUR DAYS. Today i was doing good till i had a 370 cal pizza and 360 cals of fries. EWW. Then i.... purged it....



DAMN IT.



Man, i suck.





Tomorrow i have a meal planned out so i don't go over the 100 cal mark.

i'm having a serving of 80 cal soup
and 2 1/2 cups of lettuce which makes 17.5 calories!
So that's 97.5 cals
~

Another thing is that i was reading about a girl on recovery and all i could think was, I'm better than you. I'm stronger. I'll become thinner than you ever could have been. Am i a bad person?

I was looking at food early and all i could think was calories, fat, fat, fat evil. I'm such a freak.

Oh well, at least i'll be a skinny freak.

Tomorrow i'll post more because my family will not be home. Soo till then girlies

Ana loves you,

And

So do I

~Riki Ana <3 xx

Thinspo!

There's some thinspo to brighten up your day ladies! Enjoy and Stay Strong!

Day 1 of ABC

This is my first day of ABC and i'm excited to see how much weight i lose.

For breakfast i'm haveing a banana-80

For lunch i'm having juice- 110

for dinner i'm having a salad- 50

for dessert jello!- 80

Which totals me to be 320 cals.

I'm allowed to have 500 but... no thanks....

Tomorrow is also 500.

I hope i have enough control to do all 50 days. I'm allowing 3 f*ck-up days. Which is where i'm going to go a little over. But hopefully i don't have to use them.

~

The ABC is all about control. And let's hope that i stay in control.

Anyway i hope you all had a good new years! Here's a good question, What things do you want to do for your New Year Resalution?? It can be Ana related or not!

Here's mine,

*Grow out hair

*Get down to a size 3 jeans

*Stop biting my nails

*Get to be 95lbs by June

*Look good in a bikini

*Bring up my grades

*Stop putting so much salt on my food

*Have more self-control

Man i have a long list. So girls comment me with your lists!

Hope for those who drank, that your hangovers don't suck.

And for everyone else hope you had a fun new year!

Love~Riki Ana!