Long time no posts. Hello my beauties. I know I am probably speaking to an empty room, most of you are probably no longer active. But I'm back and ready to dive deeper than ever before.
Two years is a long time. Let me catch you up.
I have since read through my blog and let me just say thank god I've grown up a little. I'm 18 now,. I was hospitalized back in January for depression, anxiety , suicudial thoughts and self harm. I'm doing okay now. I withdrew from college and now I'm just working part time. I'm still a fuck up, just an older fuck up.
I just want to be able to look at my self and be happy for once. I have Ana whispering at me constantly "if you listened to me more maybe you wouldnt have ended up like this you weak piece of shit. Come back to me and I'll make you perfect. I promise."
Because of my depression I lost 20 lbs without trying. I have since then gained it back. Let me weigh myself real quick to update you guys .
121 lbs. It's a night time weight so I won't be too hard on myself.
My goal is still 95 lbs.
I want to be able to handle life. I want to get good grades, I want to grow and bloom into the perfect person that I know is deep inside me.
I need to get my ass into gear and do something with my life. Right now I'm just a disgusting failure. I have to be very sneaky because my mom watches my intake. I want to cut. I've been clean for about a month. The only time my mind stops racing is after I draw blood.
It feels nice to be back.
Love,
Riki Ana
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You know my name, not my story.
This blog is a part of my life. This is who I am, my goals, my dreams and my fuck ups.
Poem
It's good to be beautiful.
It's good to feel beautiful.
Ana is my life. Ana is my soul.
It is what I choose for me,
not what I choose for you.
As I shed my shell and emerge from my cocoon,
I do so knowing who I am,
and knowing what I do....
It's good to feel beautiful.
Ana is my life. Ana is my soul.
It is what I choose for me,
not what I choose for you.
As I shed my shell and emerge from my cocoon,
I do so knowing who I am,
and knowing what I do....
If you want to email me,
Quotes
Perfection is not attainted when there is nothing left to add, but when there is nothing left to take away
Skipping Dinner Makes You Thinner
When You Say 'No Thank You' To Food, You say 'Yes, Please!' To Thin.
More die in the United States of too much food than of too little.
Think Thin
Stay Strong
Anorexia Is Not Disese. Anorexia is Not A Game. It Is a Skill Perfected Only By Few. The Pure, The Choosen, And The Flawless.
One should eat to live, not live to eat.
I'm allergic to food. Every time I eat it breaks out into fat.
Brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat cells live forever.
Clogged with yesterday's excess, the body drags the mind down with it.
Be miserable. Or motivate yourself. Whatever has to be done, it's always your choice.
Skipping Dinner Makes You Thinner
When You Say 'No Thank You' To Food, You say 'Yes, Please!' To Thin.
More die in the United States of too much food than of too little.
Think Thin
Stay Strong
Anorexia Is Not Disese. Anorexia is Not A Game. It Is a Skill Perfected Only By Few. The Pure, The Choosen, And The Flawless.
One should eat to live, not live to eat.
I'm allergic to food. Every time I eat it breaks out into fat.
Brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat cells live forever.
Clogged with yesterday's excess, the body drags the mind down with it.
Be miserable. Or motivate yourself. Whatever has to be done, it's always your choice.
Thinspo
Stats
Current weight: 121
Goal weight: 95
Age: 18
Height: 5'7"
About Me
- Riki Ana
- I'm a girl who doesn't know where the road begins or ends. I just know my life started again when i found ana. She saved me. And now i'm going to reach my goals, hide my secrets, and take one day as it comes. Want to come along for the ride? "I want to have control, the perfect body and soul."
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