My Body. My Mind. MY ORDERS.

Good morning my gorgeous girls and my thintastic boys.

And yes i did just make up the word thintastic. (Thin + Fantastic = thintastic) :D

It's 10:48 am and i just had my first craving of the day. And it was.... Potato Chips.

Gah, but don't worry i just walked away from it and came down here. :)
~*~

Ooh, i just thought of something funny.

What would you do for a Klondike Bar?
Would you,
-Burn 1000 calories after you ate it?
-Not eat the next day?
-Feel fat and worthless?
-Put on a large sweatshirt to hid you now bloated stomach?
-Purge it?
-Go running?
-Eat another to suppress the guilt rising?

Or you could just put down the damn Klondike bar.

You'll never see those^ in thier commercials.

It was funny in my head but on paper... or well, typed out it sounded depressing. Oh well, it made me giggle.
~*~

I'm going to let you guys hear out some personal issues. It's not necessary to read so you could just skip down to the next ED part but continue if you want. :)

I met this guy. (Oh yes. It's a boy issue, who could have guessed?!?!) He's been in my CCD class for many years, but we never really talked. But at the carnival he asked for my number so i gave it to him.

That's when the texting begin. Saying how he liked my outfit. Why i didn't i text him with a sad face. How he's going to see a movie with his friend's but wants to text me instead.

I thought this is all quite flirty, and it means he's in to me.

Then i say his facebook. HE HAS A GIRLFRIEND! WHAT THE FUCK?

So after i found out i ignored him for a little. But he didn't stop texting me. "Hey, what's up? I'm bored. Cure my boredom! ANSWER, I'M BORED!"

So finally i said "If your bored why don't you hang out with your girlfriend"

Then he told me the movie thing from up above. "I'm going to see a movie with my friends but i wanna text you"

Now I'm just confused. The guy has a girlfriend! But he's outright flirting with me.

I was asking some of my pro-ana friends online about it and one for them said

"Just because there is a goalie doesn't mean you can't score. ;)"

hahahahahahah

i found that hilarious, but anyway, I'm not that kind of girl to steal some one's guy.
Should i confront him? Or just let it be?

The thought that has dominated my mind has been "what if it's all a trick?"
3 years ago the crush of my dreams, also my best guy friend, asked me out. It was for a dare. That broke my heart, made me feel like shit, and has fucked me up about guys.

As you all know I'm Bi-curious. Why curious? I'm attracted to girls but haven't had a girlfriend.
In my mind your not bi-sexual till you've kissed a girl/had a girlfriend.

But anyway.....

I don't know what to do.

I'm pretty sure I'm not even into this kid. It's prolly just the fact i just want SOMEONE to like me and make me feel special//beautiful.

*sigh*
~*~
Ok back to ED land.

This morning i weighed myself and it was 116.

.5 down, I'm happy with that.

OH YEA----- Check out this pro-ana website! http://letters-from-ana.webs.com/
It has loads of thinspo, Ana music, Ana Books, and even a safe Cookbook!

CHECK IT OUT!

that's all for now my Honey buns :)
Love,
~Riki Ana

She's back!

OMG Kat's back. Yes, the same Kat from the blog we all loved. Quest for perfection. www.katproanaquest.blogspot.com She needs us to get her name back out there again. Be warned, her first post is what happened in the time she was gone. You'll see.

~*~

When i checked my email and saw that ^^^ i literally almost cried. Then after i read the first post i did cry. No a lot though. But wow. i don't really understand why, maybe it's like seeing a relative after a really long time. It was tears of joy.

In other news. I love you guys, i got up at 5:30 AM to post. so this post may sound tired.

I do NOT want to talk about the last two days. But in my promise to ALWAYS tell what happened i will.

Monday: binged. Badly.
Tuesday: *promised i'd do better* -LIE.
Wednesday: hate myself to the point of yelling at the mirror.

Today I'm going to be HARD restricting. It's only 2 more days of April. FUCK Then 1 month until summer. Double FUCK.

So these next two days aren't going to be fun. Then the 31 days of May are going to be hell. But you know what, i'm at the point where i want to lock myself in a room without food for the next 33 days. I'm toying around with the idea in my mind. If only a 33 day fast was possible. For me. *le sigh*

www.evacanfly.blogspot.com great fasting info. Go to the very beginning of her blog. She did a 30 day juice fast right ater a 2 or 3 day water fast.

So i think after these 2 days of hard restricting i'll try to fast for as long as possible. Then i'll hard restrict, then fast. get the pattern?

I pray i can do it.
~*~

Last night i was scared. I don't want to go to the beach. Especially in a bikini. But i really want to. I just need the body for it first. I wish i didn't procrastinate so much during the year.


well, that's all i have for now.
It's now 6:00 am.
And i love you!!!
Love,
~Riki Ana

New Diet

My weight is at a unacceptable high. Remember i did eat before weight in but....
114 ~now i was clothed so, by god's mercy, i HOPE 113.

FUCK.

So to get rid of this body fat blunder I'm going to use a diet i found quiet interesting.

I really recommend www.thenewwishfulthinning.webs.com It's a competition that your on teams. I personally am not on a team. But i am doing last weeks diet.

Day One -
No carbs day.
Calorie intake - < (less than) 500.
Water - 6+ glasses.
Exercise - 30 minutes+ of cardio (crunches may be done instead,but only if you are injured), 10 minute abs workout.

Day Two -
Vegetarian day.
Calorie intake - < (less than) 600.
Water - 6+ glasses.
Exercise - 1 hour+ of cardio (crunches may be done instead,but only if you are injured).

Day Three -
Calorie intake - < (less than) 800.
Water - 6+ glasses.
Exercise - 30+ minutes of walking.

Day Four -
Juice fast.
Water - 6+
Exercise - Optional today.

Day Five -
Vegan day.
Calorie intake - >300
Water - 6+
Exercise - 30 minutes+ of cardio (crunches may be done instead,but only if you are injured).

Day Six -
Calorie intake - >650
Water - 6+
Exercise - Ab and arm workout (does not matter for how long,but ideally at least 20 minutes each).

Day Seven -
Vegetarian day.
Calorie intake - >400
Water - 6+
Exercise - 1 hour+ of cardio (crunches may be done instead,but only if you are injured).

So this is the plan^^^

Anyone want to join?!?

Since i ate today, It will begin tomorrow MONDAY, APRIL 19TH

If you mess up on any of the days you will do a make up task. Please go to MUT on the website to find out what the make up tasks are.

~*~

I have been stuffing my face with useless fats, calories, and carbs. I was avoiding posting because of how embarrassed i was. But you know what it's my own fault.

In the words of OhMyGosh " Don't try and sneak around the truth: diet and exercise work" and that's the only way to lose weight girls/guys. Sure you can eat that cake but guess what? It WILL make you gain weight. Sorry it's the truth.

You have to ask yourself a important question: How bad do you want to be thin?

I hope you truly think that question through.

Love,
~Riki Ana
xoxoxo

Graceful

107. Yayayayayayayay!

Now if i fast, which i'm planning on, and if my metabolism stays perky, i should be at 105 by tomorrow. And if i am, all i would want to say is FINALLY! The last time i was at 105 it was like the first post of this blog!

Man, that was a long time ago...

Usually when i fast i lose 3lbs first day, 2 lbs second day, 1 lb 3rd day. Then i never finished 4th.

Oh God let me be 105 tomorrow!

Yesterday all i ingested was water, coke zero, and a Slurpee-60 cals for 12 oz, Crystal light apple and mango (TRY THIS! Delicious, curbs cravings, and SUGAR FREE!)

~*~
My new seventeen magazine came last night and i read it this morning.
Ok so last month they had a article about eating disorders and how you should be happy with your weight.
This month they have an article about obesity and losing weight.
Does anyone else find this ironic??

(oh yea last issue or two of reader's digest)----More People die of OBESITY than of STARVATION every year.

Our world is becoming fatter and fatter EVERY year!

~*~
Oh amazing website alert!

www.hungrygirl.com

This website is AMAZING! and not even ana! Full of low cal recipes and other info.

That's all for now folks!

Love,
~Riki Ana
xoxoxo

Hunger hurts but starving works

Today is Thanksgiving, What a craptastic holiday. There is no doubt in my mind that i'm going to binge. But believe me the next 3 months of my life are going to be heaven and hell in the same spot. I'm going to start a 10 day fast on Friday. But knowing me i cannot handle those whole 10 days so i'm breaking it on the 3 or 4 day. Then i do an apple diet day. (which is where you take an apple cut it into 8 slices then you have 2 for breakfast, 2 for lunch, 2 for dinner, and you have 2 extra for a snack!) (It may not seem like much but since your constantly eating you mind tricks itself into thinking that you ate all day. ) Then after my apple diet day i return to fasting!

If you want to know more about the diets or anything else, go to this AMAZING website i found while websurfing one day. The girl who created it, is such a sweetheart and everyone on the site is sooo supportive. http://www.gonnagetgorgeous.webs.com/ Check out the Calender if you want the diets.

I haven't weighed myself this morning yet. :( I'm scared to look tho. The past few days.....well.....um.....were crap. I was sooo pissed at myself. But now with the 3 months of diets, i will have structure to stick to. Hopefully it will keep me from binging. I've been getting all my binging out these past few days. bleh.

Ana HATES my mom. I'm doing a great fasting day! Oh wait no your not. Mommy just brought home fresh baked chocolate chip cookies. And pizza. Ana is pissssseeeeedddd!

Now she will be happy!!!!! well....after Thanksgiving.....

Now some thinspo. Enjoy my skinny bitches. I'll be posting all this weekend because i have more time!!!!!!