To the person that asked about the cough syrup. No it doesn't give you munchies, it gives you a stomach ache tho. Which is a plus for me, makes you not want to eat :)
Im doing it again tonight, ill write more later when im tripping haha
Remember to take in account the time it takes for the DXM to kick in, usually around 3 hrs for me. I usually take a nap and when i wake up BAM high as a kite. It makes your pupils HUGE tho even after your done being high for a couple hours so i recommend a friday night at home, cuz you wont be able to fall asleep. Try smoking a bowl at your peak too= FUCKING AWESOME
bye for now my beauties
Anymore questions feel free to ask
Love,
~Riki Ana
Sunday, May 22, 2011
Saturday, May 21, 2011
Can everyone say stoner?
How are my beauties today?
It's 11 am and im high as a fucking kite. :)
Last night i stayed up all night robotripping.
For those who don't know what that is, it is when you drink cough syrup to get high.
Like Robitussian+Tripping=Robotripping
I drank it at 1030pm reached my peak at 230 then came down around 10a, ish
and now i smoked a bowl, and now im high again.
Maybe i shouldnt be doing this, but i say Why Not?
It makes me feel better than alright.
And in Ana news, this is the kinda high that im not going to get munchies with.
Fuck yes.
Love,
~Riki Ana
It's 11 am and im high as a fucking kite. :)
Last night i stayed up all night robotripping.
For those who don't know what that is, it is when you drink cough syrup to get high.
Like Robitussian+Tripping=Robotripping
I drank it at 1030pm reached my peak at 230 then came down around 10a, ish
and now i smoked a bowl, and now im high again.
Maybe i shouldnt be doing this, but i say Why Not?
It makes me feel better than alright.
And in Ana news, this is the kinda high that im not going to get munchies with.
Fuck yes.
Love,
~Riki Ana
Thursday, May 19, 2011
about to pop
im so full right now, ohmygod. I think my stomcah is about to explode. Thank you munchies.
Its the price i pay sometimes for smoking. Normally i don't get hungry but every once and a while BAM i become a bottonless pit.
Completely worth it.
Im coming down off my high, it was an amazing high. <3
Im so tired i think i going to take a nap.
Love,
~Riki Ana
Said by my guy friend
"There's three ways to get through live, eat twat, smoke pot, and smile alot."
hahahahah
Its the price i pay sometimes for smoking. Normally i don't get hungry but every once and a while BAM i become a bottonless pit.
Completely worth it.
Im coming down off my high, it was an amazing high. <3
Im so tired i think i going to take a nap.
Love,
~Riki Ana
Said by my guy friend
"There's three ways to get through live, eat twat, smoke pot, and smile alot."
hahahahah
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
End of day, post 2
Hush little baby don't you stir
Don't listen to the voices that you hear
They are just the monsters under your bed
in your closet and in your head
My sister decided i was too messy to share a room with a threw all of my clothes into the hallway, thanks sis. Im not cleaning the up. i put them into a garbage bag, i dont give a shit ill go the the bag everyday and wear them until they get dirty and someone will wash them and fold them up.
I'm one stubborn bitch.
~*~
Thinspo treat
I will be beautiful.
Im going to make a new ED bracelet, its going to be red beads with a dragonfly charm. ill upload a pic once i make it.
Thats my stomach all signed from bamboozle. :)
Thin, but not thin enough.
Love,
~Riki Ana
Don't listen to the voices that you hear
They are just the monsters under your bed
in your closet and in your head
My sister decided i was too messy to share a room with a threw all of my clothes into the hallway, thanks sis. Im not cleaning the up. i put them into a garbage bag, i dont give a shit ill go the the bag everyday and wear them until they get dirty and someone will wash them and fold them up.
I'm one stubborn bitch.
~*~
Thinspo treat
I will be beautiful.Im going to make a new ED bracelet, its going to be red beads with a dragonfly charm. ill upload a pic once i make it.
Thats my stomach all signed from bamboozle. :)Thin, but not thin enough.
Love,
~Riki Ana
Day 1 of my return
ate normally today, ehh.
I know me doing those sexual things seems jaw dropping, because mainly it is. But with him it was my first "love." he was real first boyfriend. I was so infatuated with him, and still kinda am, except last night he did something that turned me off and i feel kinda bad for being turned off by it.
He was vulnerable.
I did not like it. He called me around midnight, saying how he was sorry he was that we broke up, he missed me etc etc. I know when hes lying too, and he wasn't. For the month we dated we hung out everyday, then when i got home i would call him and talk to him till 2 or 3 am. That may sound like an exaggeration but truthfully it isn't. I know shit about him that no one else does, shit he could to jail for. His voice shook when he talked and we skyped and he looked like a puppy that was beaten.
It was weird. I don't know, just him being so emotionally open to me was disturbing to me. I don't know if that's my fucked up mind telling me vulnerability is wrong but...
whatever, i just have to rethink my relationship with him. We were going to get back together but after that, i don't know. I feel like crap for having thoughts like that too. ughhh
My life isnt excatly "bad" Truthfully im enjoying my life more than ever. I love smoking weed, just saying. If i had the money i would smoke everyday. But i don't, so thats not an option.
My life has changed so competly in the past couple of months, its almost horrifying. Not that they were all bad changes. Well, maybe most of them were. But Im happy right now, and thats all that matters to me.
The only think that would make me happier?
To be the toothpick thin girl i've always dreamed about.
I get what i want, i always have and i always will.
I'm one determined mother fucker, and maybe ill start using that power in some good ways.
Love,
~Riki Ana
I know me doing those sexual things seems jaw dropping, because mainly it is. But with him it was my first "love." he was real first boyfriend. I was so infatuated with him, and still kinda am, except last night he did something that turned me off and i feel kinda bad for being turned off by it.
He was vulnerable.
I did not like it. He called me around midnight, saying how he was sorry he was that we broke up, he missed me etc etc. I know when hes lying too, and he wasn't. For the month we dated we hung out everyday, then when i got home i would call him and talk to him till 2 or 3 am. That may sound like an exaggeration but truthfully it isn't. I know shit about him that no one else does, shit he could to jail for. His voice shook when he talked and we skyped and he looked like a puppy that was beaten.
It was weird. I don't know, just him being so emotionally open to me was disturbing to me. I don't know if that's my fucked up mind telling me vulnerability is wrong but...
whatever, i just have to rethink my relationship with him. We were going to get back together but after that, i don't know. I feel like crap for having thoughts like that too. ughhh
My life isnt excatly "bad" Truthfully im enjoying my life more than ever. I love smoking weed, just saying. If i had the money i would smoke everyday. But i don't, so thats not an option.
My life has changed so competly in the past couple of months, its almost horrifying. Not that they were all bad changes. Well, maybe most of them were. But Im happy right now, and thats all that matters to me.
The only think that would make me happier?
To be the toothpick thin girl i've always dreamed about.
I get what i want, i always have and i always will.
I'm one determined mother fucker, and maybe ill start using that power in some good ways.
Love,
~Riki Ana
Monday, May 16, 2011
Time for a comeback
Well, my life has not been going where i've expected...
But yes, this is my return to Ana.
My life has become fucked up-ish. Let's go over what has happened. I had a boyfriend named Chris, i explored my physical side of a relationship, so i've had everything that isn't sex. Oral, anal, all that shit. Except with the anal he put it in and i told him to take it the fuck out cuz it hurt hahahaha Now we are broken up, we dated a month, i feel kinda slutty.
I smoke cigarettes now, around 6 a day. I smoke weed, let's just say enough to be considered a stoner in my school. the people i used to look down upon i have become.
I have in school suspension tomorrow for cutting classes, and ill have sense again for cutting chemistry, which im failing btw, except i didn't mean to cut. I cut lunch to go smoke a cigarette like i do everyday and my friends wanted to smoke weed so i went with them and smoked except stupid me was massively dehydrated and i passed out. It was awesome.
I lost all of my old friends because i've changed and my new friends are untrustworthy but fun to be around. I have a couple old friends left.
I lost my main friend Rania, she was the girl that was moving an hour away and i cried for. Fuck her. She betrayed me. She told my sister i drank and smoked weed, and smoked cigarettes, and that i have snuck out before. Stupid bitch.
My weight is 120-122.2.
Fuck that. I'll write more later.
It's good to be back.
Love,
~Riki Ana
But yes, this is my return to Ana.
My life has become fucked up-ish. Let's go over what has happened. I had a boyfriend named Chris, i explored my physical side of a relationship, so i've had everything that isn't sex. Oral, anal, all that shit. Except with the anal he put it in and i told him to take it the fuck out cuz it hurt hahahaha Now we are broken up, we dated a month, i feel kinda slutty.
I smoke cigarettes now, around 6 a day. I smoke weed, let's just say enough to be considered a stoner in my school. the people i used to look down upon i have become.
I have in school suspension tomorrow for cutting classes, and ill have sense again for cutting chemistry, which im failing btw, except i didn't mean to cut. I cut lunch to go smoke a cigarette like i do everyday and my friends wanted to smoke weed so i went with them and smoked except stupid me was massively dehydrated and i passed out. It was awesome.
I lost all of my old friends because i've changed and my new friends are untrustworthy but fun to be around. I have a couple old friends left.
I lost my main friend Rania, she was the girl that was moving an hour away and i cried for. Fuck her. She betrayed me. She told my sister i drank and smoked weed, and smoked cigarettes, and that i have snuck out before. Stupid bitch.
My weight is 120-122.2.
Fuck that. I'll write more later.
It's good to be back.
Love,
~Riki Ana
Friday, January 28, 2011
Bittersweet Goodbyes
My beautiful readers. I fucking love you. I've been avoiding this for much too long. Let's wait. Good news first.
I met an amazing boy. His name is Joe. He was my first kiss. I wanted to wait for it to be with someone special but then i said fuck it, and it worked out. He's a fucking player, who wants me for my body. Yet he's still the sweetest guy ever. I lied to him, so i guess we are both fucked up. He's back in college, and yes I'm still 15, and no he doesn't know that. We are still talking but I know he's fucking other girls, he seemed pissed when i wouldn't do anything past kissing. Well, fuck you. but i like him so much. IM SO FUCKED. haha
But you know what? I'm perfectly ok with that.
You guys wouldn't believe how happy I've been lately. I'm this whole new person. IM HAPPY!
I actually love the way i look. Yea, i do have some fat here and there, and yea my boobs are small, but they are MINE. and i love them.
I got high like 2 weeks ago. It was fucking awesome. I cannot describe how awesome it was. I cannot wait to do it again. But getting my hands on weed is so hard. I got drunk with my goodie two shoes best friend today. It was great.
My life is at such a perfect point. I can get high and drunk, i have self-confidence and I'm happy. And i think i know why.
I just stopped giving a fuck.
That is all. I just said to myself "What the hell am i doing? Why the FUCK do i care what other people think of me? They dont matter, they will always judge me. FUCK THAT SHIT!"
I really just don't fucking care about anything at this point. I'm living my life day by day, and loving every moment of it. I take care of my body, and eat healthy, and I'm at a nice weight. 115
I can live with that. I have a nice ass, and a ok chest, with nice hips.
I'm currently making a pair of shorts for summer. I'm excited to wear them! I know my legs wont look that beautiful toothpick thin in them, but you know what? Im ok with that. Because ill work them anyway. Anyone who says i cant can go fuck themselves.
Yea, i still have that nagging voice saying I'm not pretty enough, but just fuck it all. I love who i am, maybe i wont love who i become or maybe i will. But right now i love myself and that's all that matters. Maybe ill find a nice guy my own age. Who knows.
My main goal is just to live life having as much fun as possible and anorexia just doesn't fit into that plan. It was a huge part of my life, but somehow I'm walking away from it. I don't know how but i am.
Maybe I'll be back someday, who knows? But you guys have been one of the best things that has ever happened to me and I'm actually thankful i had this. Don't hate on me for saying that because I'm not taking it back.
I'm not deleting this blog, i love it too much, and maybe one day if i come back, i still want it to be here.
But for now this is my goodbye.
I support everyone 100% with whatever they chose in life and you are welcome to email me anytime. Ill answer any questions and still talk to you girls or guys. I'm going to miss you all so fucking much. Wow, I'm actually crying.
Riki.Ana44@gmail.com
You guys are fucking awesome, and I'm going to miss the hell out of you all.
I hope you all find true happiness.
Love,
~Riki Ana
*EDIT*
p.s. My thingy is beautyiswhatiwant and i just realized something.
I've achieved beautiful and it's in my own eyes, and that's what truly matters in the end.
I met an amazing boy. His name is Joe. He was my first kiss. I wanted to wait for it to be with someone special but then i said fuck it, and it worked out. He's a fucking player, who wants me for my body. Yet he's still the sweetest guy ever. I lied to him, so i guess we are both fucked up. He's back in college, and yes I'm still 15, and no he doesn't know that. We are still talking but I know he's fucking other girls, he seemed pissed when i wouldn't do anything past kissing. Well, fuck you. but i like him so much. IM SO FUCKED. haha
But you know what? I'm perfectly ok with that.
You guys wouldn't believe how happy I've been lately. I'm this whole new person. IM HAPPY!
I actually love the way i look. Yea, i do have some fat here and there, and yea my boobs are small, but they are MINE. and i love them.
I got high like 2 weeks ago. It was fucking awesome. I cannot describe how awesome it was. I cannot wait to do it again. But getting my hands on weed is so hard. I got drunk with my goodie two shoes best friend today. It was great.
My life is at such a perfect point. I can get high and drunk, i have self-confidence and I'm happy. And i think i know why.
I just stopped giving a fuck.
That is all. I just said to myself "What the hell am i doing? Why the FUCK do i care what other people think of me? They dont matter, they will always judge me. FUCK THAT SHIT!"
I really just don't fucking care about anything at this point. I'm living my life day by day, and loving every moment of it. I take care of my body, and eat healthy, and I'm at a nice weight. 115
I can live with that. I have a nice ass, and a ok chest, with nice hips.
I'm currently making a pair of shorts for summer. I'm excited to wear them! I know my legs wont look that beautiful toothpick thin in them, but you know what? Im ok with that. Because ill work them anyway. Anyone who says i cant can go fuck themselves.
Yea, i still have that nagging voice saying I'm not pretty enough, but just fuck it all. I love who i am, maybe i wont love who i become or maybe i will. But right now i love myself and that's all that matters. Maybe ill find a nice guy my own age. Who knows.
My main goal is just to live life having as much fun as possible and anorexia just doesn't fit into that plan. It was a huge part of my life, but somehow I'm walking away from it. I don't know how but i am.
Maybe I'll be back someday, who knows? But you guys have been one of the best things that has ever happened to me and I'm actually thankful i had this. Don't hate on me for saying that because I'm not taking it back.
I'm not deleting this blog, i love it too much, and maybe one day if i come back, i still want it to be here.
But for now this is my goodbye.
I support everyone 100% with whatever they chose in life and you are welcome to email me anytime. Ill answer any questions and still talk to you girls or guys. I'm going to miss you all so fucking much. Wow, I'm actually crying.
Riki.Ana44@gmail.com
You guys are fucking awesome, and I'm going to miss the hell out of you all.
I hope you all find true happiness.
Love,
~Riki Ana
*EDIT*
p.s. My thingy is beautyiswhatiwant and i just realized something.
I've achieved beautiful and it's in my own eyes, and that's what truly matters in the end.
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