You know my name, not my story.

This blog is a part of my life. This is who I am, my goals, my dreams and my fuck ups.

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

I'm such a Failure.

Today sucked so much. First as you know it's a under 200 day, so i went and had a piece of toast-70, then i don't know what happened but i started to binge, i then had a cupcake-150, some crackers-210,Cinnamon roll-150 left over from yesterday and some dinosaur chicken nuggets-185. Then i got that full feeling and threw up most of it. So then off to school. At lunch i had a M&M cookie-? some french fries-?and a V8 i felt so bad THEN i had a class and then after that class i had History. I found out I'm failing. I have a 62. WTF ugh. Then i got home and felt like i didn't 'deserved to be skinny' So i had a major binge, I then got that full feeling and immediately threw up and took a laxie. Yes, it's the over-night brand. I only took one though. That's why i like them. They are good when you have binges and want to feel emptier. Like your supposed to take 2-3 then they will do umm their job. But if you take one it's easier on you and it help regulate your system.
Anyway. I want to say sorry, for not sticking to my diet. To make up for it tomorrow is a under 100 day, then i start fasting. Thank god. After a binge i cannot wait for my next fast. I know it's supposed to be under 200 but i don't deserve that many calories after today. I'm so weak.
Stay Strong unlike me
Forgive me
~Riki Ana


  1. Omg. I did the same thing today! I was doing good until after I got home from school and just couldn't resist the brownie my mom got from her work and from then on I binged like crazy and I was going to do good until Halloween so I will look good, but I just screwed it up. I'm so mad at myself. But tomorrow and the rest of the week I'm going to do much better. Although, I don't purge or take laxatives. I wish I could, but I haaate it. I just don't have the guts to do it :/ So you're lucky!

    Stay strong!

  2. Try upping your daily calorie limit. If you have Coe tendencies, nothing will set them off faster than trying to keep your calorie intake too low. Eventually your body will override you and force you to eat.

    You can actually eat a LOT of food, if the food you eat is made of fruits and vegetables. Try to fill up on those and you'll be less likely to binge, plus you'll be getting a lot of the nutrients you need to stay healthy.