My Body. My Mind. MY ORDERS.

Good morning my gorgeous girls and my thintastic boys.

And yes i did just make up the word thintastic. (Thin + Fantastic = thintastic) :D

It's 10:48 am and i just had my first craving of the day. And it was.... Potato Chips.

Gah, but don't worry i just walked away from it and came down here. :)
~*~

Ooh, i just thought of something funny.

What would you do for a Klondike Bar?
Would you,
-Burn 1000 calories after you ate it?
-Not eat the next day?
-Feel fat and worthless?
-Put on a large sweatshirt to hid you now bloated stomach?
-Purge it?
-Go running?
-Eat another to suppress the guilt rising?

Or you could just put down the damn Klondike bar.

You'll never see those^ in thier commercials.

It was funny in my head but on paper... or well, typed out it sounded depressing. Oh well, it made me giggle.
~*~

I'm going to let you guys hear out some personal issues. It's not necessary to read so you could just skip down to the next ED part but continue if you want. :)

I met this guy. (Oh yes. It's a boy issue, who could have guessed?!?!) He's been in my CCD class for many years, but we never really talked. But at the carnival he asked for my number so i gave it to him.

That's when the texting begin. Saying how he liked my outfit. Why i didn't i text him with a sad face. How he's going to see a movie with his friend's but wants to text me instead.

I thought this is all quite flirty, and it means he's in to me.

Then i say his facebook. HE HAS A GIRLFRIEND! WHAT THE FUCK?

So after i found out i ignored him for a little. But he didn't stop texting me. "Hey, what's up? I'm bored. Cure my boredom! ANSWER, I'M BORED!"

So finally i said "If your bored why don't you hang out with your girlfriend"

Then he told me the movie thing from up above. "I'm going to see a movie with my friends but i wanna text you"

Now I'm just confused. The guy has a girlfriend! But he's outright flirting with me.

I was asking some of my pro-ana friends online about it and one for them said

"Just because there is a goalie doesn't mean you can't score. ;)"

hahahahahahah

i found that hilarious, but anyway, I'm not that kind of girl to steal some one's guy.
Should i confront him? Or just let it be?

The thought that has dominated my mind has been "what if it's all a trick?"
3 years ago the crush of my dreams, also my best guy friend, asked me out. It was for a dare. That broke my heart, made me feel like shit, and has fucked me up about guys.

As you all know I'm Bi-curious. Why curious? I'm attracted to girls but haven't had a girlfriend.
In my mind your not bi-sexual till you've kissed a girl/had a girlfriend.

But anyway.....

I don't know what to do.

I'm pretty sure I'm not even into this kid. It's prolly just the fact i just want SOMEONE to like me and make me feel special//beautiful.

*sigh*
~*~
Ok back to ED land.

This morning i weighed myself and it was 116.

.5 down, I'm happy with that.

OH YEA----- Check out this pro-ana website! http://letters-from-ana.webs.com/
It has loads of thinspo, Ana music, Ana Books, and even a safe Cookbook!

CHECK IT OUT!

that's all for now my Honey buns :)
Love,
~Riki Ana

Return

Oh my beauties. How I've missed you.

I just weighed myself for my "back to Ana" thingy. Let me tell you it ain't pretty.

116.5, in my defense i have my period so i might be bloated. :/

I know, gross right? I go on vacation on August 16th. that means i have 20 days to get to a decent weight.

What is a decent weight? I don't really know. My goal weight seems impossible. So, I'm going to say below 105, that sounds reasonable.

My eating habits have been put back to "normal" or as I like to call it "fat habits."

It takes 21 days to make a habit and 3 days to break it.

Looks like I'm going to have to defy that and show that i can get my eating habits back in order by then.
~*~

I've missed blogging. It's such an amazing outlet for me. I remember when i first discovered this community, I said i would only read one blog. (It was Ana Regzig's btw) and now look i have my own. It's funny how you can change your mind, I'm glad i did.

I recommend everyone to have a blog, even if you don't use it often, it's nice to know It's there and that there are people waiting to listen to you.

Tomorrow I will fill you all in on my new "plan" to look decent by my vacation.

Love you girls
Sweet Dreams
Love,
~Riki Ana

Quick post

Ok, time for me to get back on the Ana bandwagon!

NEWS!!- Turns out my doctor is stupid since when i went to the ENT Doctor he said my ear drum was fine and i have a very large/out of control swimmers ear. Also there was so much crap in my ear they put a tube in there and sucked it all out. EWW!

I went overboard in the food department today. NO MORE!

Any way here are some pics i like.

Life would be sooo much easier if i was a Fairy. *sigh*

Anwway,

Starve on my beauties.

Love,

~Riki Ana

xoxoxo

Good News!!

I have amazing news! Staring today, i am officially OFF my medication!!! WHOO-HOO!

Now i can't go straight back into fasting and such. :( My sad body would go into shock. But I'm think of trying the Staircase Diet, but i feel like at the end i would just regain the weight i lost.

Day 1: 1300 calories
Day 2: 1200 calories
Day 3: 1100 calories
Day 4: 1000 calories
Day 5: 900 calories
Day 6: 800 calories
Day 7: 700 calories
Day 8: 600 calories
Day 9: 500 calories
Day 10: 400 calories
Day 11: 300 calories
Day 12: 200 calories
Day 13: 100 calories
Day 14: 0 calories
Day 15: 100 calories
Day 16: 200 calories
Day 17: 300 calories
Day 18: 350 calories
Day 19: 400 calories
Day 20: 450 calories
Day 21: 500 calories
Day 22: 550 calories
Day 23: 600 calories
Day 24: 650 calories
Day 25: 700 calories
Day 26: 750 calories
Day 27: 800 calories
Day 28: 850 calories
Day 29: 900 calories
Day 30: 950 calories
Day 31: 1000 calories
Day 32: 1050 calories
Day 33: 1100 calories
Day 34: 1150 calories
Day 35: 1200 calories
Day 36: 1250 calories

What do you guys think? Maybe I'll get rid of days 33-36?
~*~

Ooh, i also have a whole exercises plan too! In the august issue of Seventeen they have a "back to school-Best body" and it gives you a whole workout routine//plan. It's perfect. Also they give you tips and food ideas. :D

More info on this later.

But for now, alas, i have to go :(

Starve on my beauties.
Love,
~Riki Ana

Quotes!

Since I'm bored, I'm posting all of these inspirational quotes. :D ENJOY!!!!!

~*~
If hunger is not the problem, then eating is not the solution.

Don't dig your grave with your own knife and fork.

Your stomach shouldn't be a waist basket.

A diet is the penalty we pay for exceeding the feed limit.

More die in the United States of too much food than of too little.

If it tastes good, spit it out.

One should eat to live, not live to eat.

Rich, fatty foods are like destiny: they too, shape our ends.

Nothing tastes as good as being thin feels.

Life itself is the proper binge.

Blessed are those who hunger and thirst, for they are sticking to their diets.

Bigger snacks mean bigger slacks.

I'm allergic to food. Every time I eat it breaks out into fat.

To lengthen your life, shorten your meals.

You can't lose weight by talking about it. You have to keep your mouth shut.

Brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat cells live forever.

Starving is not a piece of cake.

If food is your best friend, it's also your worst enemy

People say that losing weight is no walk in the park. When I hear that I think, yeah, that's the problem.

My advice if you insist on slimming: Eat as much as you like - just don't swallow it

Clogged with yesterday's excess, the body drags the mind down with it.

I want my hipbones to be as sharp as my mind.

Fat is not a moral problem. It's an oral problem.

If you wish to grow thinner, diminish your dinner.

Be miserable. Or motivate yourself. Whatever has to be done, it's always your choice.

~*~

I hope you were inspired by that!

Everyone have a wonderful day and, of course,

STARVE ON!!!!!

See ya my skinny bitches!

Love,
~Riki Ana
xoxoxo

Wanting

Oh how i wish this medication would just be over with.

My ear still is fucked up :( I'm going for a hearing test tomorrow. My doctor said i should regain it fully, so that's good.

On my b-day we went to the beach, my mom really wanted to and i want her to be happy, so i said sure. It was PACKED. Our parking spot wasn't too far away. Then we were standing on line for 10 minutes and i almost passed out.

My mom was freaking out, saying we should leave. HELL NO! i didn't sit in a car for 3 hours just to almost pass out and ruin every one's day. so i drank a lot of water.

I'm fine mostly.

How are you guys doing???

~*~

Ooh, and here's a thinspo treat for you all!

Love,

~Riki Ana

xoxoxo

Only me.

FUCK MY LIFE!

Why might you ask, well first I've been doing great in the weight department 113. But i can good bye to that now.

Why might you ask??

Well, yesterday i was in a lot of pain. My ear was throbbing. It was BAD. I got no sleep last night because of it and now this morning i was going to go to the doctor to get it checked out. I stood up and went to go change. Suddenly my ear felt a lot better. But it felt very wet, like water was dripping out of it. I take two finger and went to wipe it off and my fingers had blood on them.

I KNOW!!!

Turns out my ear pain was actually a massive infection that created pressure and cause my ear-drum to rupture.

Really? COME ON! Tomorrow is my b-day and guess where I'm going? To the beach. Guess what? I can't get my ear wet! That also means no showers!!

ugh. Now I have a napkin taped to my ear to catch the blood that's been draining out of me since 8 am. It's now 3:54 pm.

Also i can't hear out of it. But thank god, I'll regain it once it starts to heal.

But at least when it ruptured all the pressure went away. So not a lot of pain anymore.

This may be TMI but I'm saying it anyway, the most uncomfortable part of it is that i can feel the blood dripping out my ear *shutter*

Oh yea, i have to take the mediation they put me on with food. fuck. So i guess I'm stuck holding off Ana until my ear is better :(
~*~

In other, happier, news. I'm glad to see people are starting to find this blog again after i changed it from riskyriki.

Well, that's all i got for now.
I'm going to go take a nap.
Love,
~Riki Ana
Starve on