New year, new me

Ok huns, so i plan to restrict/fast in till new year, Then i might to the ABC diet.
Have any of you done it?
It would be my first time, i hear you lose crazy weight with it.
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Anyway, i want to apologize to Kate.

i know that you are trying to show us what happened. I just read your latest post, and i want to let you know i will be reading. I should know what lies on the other side. And it's odd, i have most of the feelings you do... I look into that more. <3
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Yesterday i was at a friends house, he got a treadmill for Christmas (fitness freak) so then i was running.
Oh LORD!
I never liked running but on a treadmill, AMAZING. Being inside of a nice temp. house no cold air burning your throat. LOVE IT!

I'm saving up to buy one. :)
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It's weird, i have... i don't know what to call them. Possibly friends? On here who know more about my life then my best friend. You all know my secret, my internal fight, every fast, every tear, every fail. They know the happy Riki, the one they look up too.(Weird right?) They tell me that i have so much self-confidence, (yea right...) hmm......

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Have you ever been in that path where you are doing good, then you get that first craving and you just tell yourself, Go ahead eat it. You're going to end up failing anyway.
That where i am.
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Sorry for this jumbled mess. Had to get my thoughts out.

I'll most likely post again later,

Love, a confused
~Riki Ana

P.s. Kate, i hope your sister finds peace, as do you.