You know my name, not my story.

This blog is a part of my life. This is who I am, my goals, my dreams and my fuck ups.

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Fuck it

I'm taking Spose's Advice and just saying FUCK IT.

I have horrific news, you can skip down to the next part if you want, its nothing Ana related but its a crazy event in my life.

Karma is a bitch. She is one giant raging hormonal bitch, that is always on her period....and she hates me.

For the past two weeks i've been on vacation.

how can i put this lightly....

I was a huge slutty Mcslutson.

And right now im paying the price.
I might have an my throat.
I decided it was less slutty to give head, cuz i didnt wanna fuck.
Total head count 3 guys.

But hang on, it might not be an std, i went to planned parent hood today. the doctor looked in my mouth went "oh my god. oh my god.....hmmm well i have no idea what that is.....but it doesnt look good."

I said "Well thats reassuring."

So i have to go to a real doctor. My mom cant know so i have to fake being sick. Then my doctor gets to see my disgusting mouth.

My tonsils are red and inflamed with a large white spot on the left one and the back of my throat is blood red with a mix of creamy milk white.

MMM, isnt that sexy. Maybe ill post a pic of it....that will keep you girls from eating.

I deserve it though. It slapped me back into reality showing me im not invincible, and i cant get away with everything.

I just want it gone. And im hoping the first guy didnt give it to me bc that means i gave it to 2 other guys, im actually hoping the last one gave it to me, or else that means i gave it to someone else which i feel bad about.

But surpirisingly im taking the whole i might have a std thing well, yes when i looked in my mouth i called my stepsister and cried, but hey i got checked for hiv and lucky me i dont have that. But the gonerraha and syphilius tests take 1 month. I have to wait a whole month for my fate to be decided?

Thats why i have to go to my normal doctor, he can swab it and tell me sooner, im just hoping that its curable and that the medication is cheap so my mom doesnt question it.

Thank god for paitent doctor confidentality. The planned parenthood lady told me to say "you must keep this between us legally, so you can tell my mom i have strep and give me the pills for the std. If you tell i can legally sue you. Please treat me with discreation."

Thank you america for that law.

I'm praying no one finds out and that i can be cured.

Oh and the reason im able to be calm about this is bc i feel i deserve it in a way, and the amount of cigarettes i've smoked today has calmed me down, but everytime i wanna look in my mouth i wanna cry.

But you know what once i get my meds, i can just say fuck it and continue living my life.


  1. Well good luck and I totally agree with the thank god for the right to privacy or else j would have been screeewwedd. Anyways good luck! :)

  2. Try not to freakout or think about it too much. Worrying does nothing good.

    Also, you don't deserve it. You're not a slut, you're human. It's normal to want to do those things.

    Think positive.

  3. Oh, I wish you the best of luck with that.

    And you're not a slut, girl.

    Get well soon! :)