You know my name, not my story.

This blog is a part of my life. This is who I am, my goals, my dreams and my fuck ups.

Saturday, December 18, 2010

New day :)

I feel, i don't know, Happy. Shocker. Maybe it's the holidays or that it's the weekend but I'm fucking happy. Or it could be NikkiThin's comment "pot hits the spot eh? :)" That made me giggle.

Good times.

I feel like now at this point in my life i would try anything. Which isn't that smart i guess, but you only live once right? I have a tumblr, For the other side of me that people see everyday, and it's all about living life to the fullest and all that stuff.

Like now, i want to drink, smoke pot and have fun.

But there are friends of mine i never would tell this stuff to. I only do certain things with certain friends. Call me two-face, but it's how it is. I have a friend, never will do anything bad in her life, i am laid back, and "normal" with. She will never know about my smoking and drinking. She looks down on these things.

Then there are my friends I'm very close with, who also want to do these things, but lately it seems like i am the only one. That means, I'll have to find another person.... hmm, this is getting complicated :/
I know i have one friend Sa, who will always have fun with me. :) She hasn't tried pot yet though but we always talk about it. Next time brother updates his stash, lil' sis is going to play. :D
Oh yea, then i have another group of friend's I'm halfway me with. They also will never find out about the drinking/smoking. Except for D, i think I'll convince him one day to try it. I totally believe i could if i really tried.

Then there is the step-sister. I'm full out with her. That's when I'm drinking, and next time i see her I'm going to tell her about the weed. Except the story might get changed. i didn't do it alone in my house, i did it with friends, and friends of friends. Then one day maybe if i can convince her to smoke together. :)
I may sound stupid, and a two-face, or schizo but sometimes it's better to hide you are with certain people, and you know that too.
For all i know, i have no idea who i am or what i want. But that's the point of teenage years i guess, to make mistakes, discover yourself, and have fun.
I plan on having fun and one day maybe I'll combine all of my sides, i feel like it wouldn't work out well...... hmmm
In Ana news, today will be my first official day back. :) yay. I bought lemon green tea it's amazing!!!!!!!!!
I'll probably try to stay between 1000-1200 just a tweak to ease myself back in.

I leave you with some pics from my tumblr, and the message just to fucking LIVE, you only get to do this once so you might as well have fun and be thin while your doing it.

Live in the moment,
Enjoy yourself.
~Riki Ana

1 comment:

  1. totally agree with everything you said, it's not two-faced cuz i do it too, and its the only way to keep all my friends.
    i'm so happy you're back and this post really made me feel better when i've been upset
    stay strong