You know my name, not my story.

This blog is a part of my life. This is who I am, my goals, my dreams and my fuck ups.

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Good morning my beautiful girls

I finally figured something out. I eat more around people then when I'm by myself. I was at my friend's house yesterday, and i ate D: but anyway, whenever she was next to me i would eat, then when ever she left the room i would put it down, then when she would come back in..... it's a fucking cycle!!!

Now that i noticed i realize I've done this for a while. At lunch i would always eat IN FRONT of my friends.


I think it's because i want them to think 'I'm naturally skinny, see i eat ALL the time, I couldn't skip days of eating!'

If this is the case for the rest of my liquid fast i might have to be MIA, and no not mia, i mean Missing In Action.
At least for the friends i always eat around. My other friend R, we just walk through 3 different towns while drinking 32oz diet cokes that we got for 54cents :) Maybe I'll give her a call....

In other news,more from Haley. "I'm sorry if i offended you in anyway .. You are right I've never experienced a eating disorder. And i never know anyone with one.. So i guess I'm just curious of why some one would want to be so skinny? That is why I'm at your blog. And I don't want you to think i hate skinny people because I wouldn't want to be fat myself I just never had the chance to feel what it was like to have a little meat on my bones."

Oh, you didn't offend me, quite the opposite. When i read your first comment it seemed more like a challenge. Like you were trying to tell me i had no right for trying to starve myself. That my way of life way wrong.

Your welcome to read my blog anytime. I see now that your just trying to understand a different kind of living that we experience. Just as long your not trying to shut me down, your welcome to read.

Personally, i hate the feeling of fat on my bones. Maybe having fat on my ass for a cushion of sucky chairs but that's about it. I smile when i feel bone.

Now you're 82 lbs...And you hate it. You just can't gain weight. Try eating things that have a high amount of fat. Nothing diet. Drink whole milk, eat cake. Sorry the only time i've ever tried to gain weight was for a doctor's appoment, and that was like my second post or something. Try drinking Ensure! It's a nutrinal liquid, high in calories, that you can buy in the food store. They give it to paitents on eating disorder units to make them gain weight. I thinking it might do the same for you.

For most "normal" people, they'll never be able to understand what goes on in our minds. I don't really care what anyone thinks of my lifestyle, and i'll contuine to do it. But that is your lifestyle, and i'm not going to stop you in getting what you want, and nobody should. I hope you get the curves you desire.

Gain weight,
~Riki Ana

Now, back to bussiness, today i declare is NO FAIL DAY for me! I know, i'm cheesy, but that's why you love me right?!? :D

If R can't hang out it looks like i'll be stuck away from everyone, if that's what it takes I'm willing to do it.

Ooh, GREAT SHOW ALERT! Losing it with Jillian. The chick from biggest loser.
Here's the website for the show
BEST SHOW EVER! She screams at them to keep trying and lose thier weight ahhh such a good show!


That's all for now my chickaboos.
Starve on
And Think Thin
~Riki Ana

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