Once you feel weak and dizzy your almost there.

SO much shit has happened its crazy. My beautiful blog has been forgotten, i must change that. but first let me tell you all about whats been happening in the shit storm called my life.
~*~
First, I've been a veryyyyy verry bad girl lately. Santa will be giving me a ginormous lump of coal for Christmas. I did some very bad, illegal things that of which i will not go into detail, bc i didn't get caught. so hell yeah on that part, but sad face bc my entire family found out what i did. Which caused me to attempt suicide. I sat in my closet and swallowed two handfuls of Advil. Then i went to bed. You think that would have done the job but i woke up, so i guess that's good. My depression has hit a new high lately. i barely want to pull myself out of bed and when i do it's for school and to get high, weed and spice are my life. i love spice, i trip balls but i know it's stupid for me to do. Imma try to do better......

Next, I'm forced to see a psychologist. Why, might you ask? Well, i decided to call out of work (i got fired bc of it) and go clubbing at a teen club, most annoying part? it wasn't open that night gayyy. i already knew i was in a lot of trouble so i told my parents, no I'm not coming home tonight. See you in the morning and hung up. Let's just say it didn't fly well. I was reported missing to the cops and they recommended i see this doctor. Which is why I'm there.

I hate him, hes an old fat man trying to understand a 16 year old girl rebelling against everyone. I find the fact the can't prescribe me drugs very annoying to me. Obviously I'm fucked in the head. I mean anyone who talks to me for more than an hour realizes it.

Now, don't you all go thinking I've become this crazy lunatic, bc i haven't I'm the same old Riki....somewhere.

My Ana habits were forgotten in this new found life. But now since I've gotten away with it all, I'm retiring my bad habits....well except getting high. But every other illegal thing I've done is in the past.

I'm sitting here eating my Halloween candy looking at blogs and thinspo wondering where my perfect body, my perfect grades...ish, and my perfect life went. Everything was fine back when Ana was my best friend, but i dumped her for drugs and mistakes.

It's time again for me to return. I'm hopeing it will actually stick this time. And i know readers, why trust me? Every blog post, about one a month is repeating the same old lines, but i don't know. This time feels different.

Maybe it's because i can hurt myself, and others. Maybe because I'm sick of being trapped by this body that isn't perfect.

But I'm back. And this time I'm fucking ready. :)
~*~

Tomorrow will be very little food. I won't count too harshly so my return will be a descent instead of a yo-yo drop.

My Halloween candy is calling my name.
Do i have enough strength to turn down its siren song?
Ana give me strength,
Ana give me strength,
Ana give me strength.

Love,
~Riki Ana

Special K

Tomorrow ill do my special K diet which will be me eating a cup of special K through the course of the day. :D

I hung out with my guy friend Ian, and we smoked an L and i went and babysat, I'm a great person i know. It was a lot of fun. Ian even kissed me. Yay.

My weight 115.

Unacceptable for school. Goal weight- 105.

Love,
~Riki Ana

All my work ruined in a meal.

So today i felt really skinny when i woke up, and decided to weigh myself.
113.5
I LOST 6.5 LBS YAYYY!

so i didn't eat all day in anticipation of a welcome back family dinner i had to go to tonight.
holy shit i ate a lot.

Tomorrow nothing shall pass through these lips.

I probably gained back at least 3 or 4 lbs.
FUCK.

I will be 100 or less by the start of school.
The sad truth?

i don't care how bad it will be losing these 13.5 lbs

I cannot wait to walk into the hallways wearing my new *crossing my fingers* size 1 jeans. (right now I'm a 3) I'll wear a breezy top that flutters and shows my defined hipbones and concave stomach.

I want people to whisper about how skinny I've gotten behind my back.

I will make it happen.

I will make other girls jealous. Fuck everyone who doubts me. It will be nothing be coffee, smokes, and cold diet cokes. Because that's what pretty girls are made of.

~*~

My bi friend from last post wants to kill herself now. I talked to her on the phone for 2 hours listening to her cry.
Her mom told her she would rather her be dead than gay.

If she kills herself, I'll punch her mom in the face. I swear to god.

Love,
~Riki Ana

p.s. Stay Strong beauties. I;m always up for new texting buddies! xoxoxo

Time for a new me?

Someone in the comments asked if they wanted to get on track together, my answer is HELL YES!

Tomorrow i have decided to do my first fast back in the swing of things. :)
It's going to suck, it's going to be hard.
But it's going to be worth it.

So anyone who wants to

FAST TOMORROW.
Starts tonight at Midnight
and for the heck of it
30hrs.

It ends Wednesday at 6:00 AM.

Stay Strong
~*~
I wanted to address a comment written by BattleinMind:
Anorexia Is Not Disese. Anorexia is Not A Game. It Is a Skill Perfected Only By Few. The Pure, The Choosen, And The Flawless."This quote is sickening and so so offensive.

I'm not going to bash you. I'm not going to disagree with you. I'm not going to fight.

I'm going to explain.
I apologize if you find this quote offensive. Personally i don't. You could tell this to the person I got it from. Would you happen to know Ana Regzig? From dyingtobethin// http://www.anaregzig.blogspot.com/

The tab of the page you read it in, says quotes, does it not? Did i say politically correct quotes, or perhaps nice pro-ana quotes? No i did not. I said quotes. They are quotes I've happened to stumble upon in my blogging. If it really bothers you that much, just ask and I'd remove it.

It's not that big of a deal. And i know ur going to say something in the comments about it being a big deal.

It's just a quote. Ask and I'll take it down.

That goes for anything on my blog. Just ask and if i deem it to be even slightly offensive I'll take it down.

Just wanted to get that out of the way.
~*~

Oh and if i make it past my fast tomorrow, which i pray to god i do, i will try to continue the fast until Friday so i could try my first salt water flush.

I'll put all the information on that tomorrow.

Love,
~Riki Ana

p.s. I'm getting a camera for christmas so i could finally show u me and my upcoming process.

Be a voice, not an echo.

What's up my loves!?!

So yesterday I went out to dinner with my best friend and her older sister, BEST TIME EVER. I did end up eating a lot of food, but I'm not going to bash my head in over it. We were messing with these two waiters all night, it was funny. The restaurant we went to gives you crayons to draw on the paper which covers the table and we wrote "WE LOVE DAVID AND JON!

Then we showed it to them. They were creeped out a little i think. hahahaha. Then we wrote them letters and put the tip in them to made sure they will read it. hahaha.

Good times.

Today my family is going to get our Christmas tree! We always eat at this one dinner every year, so i think that will be my only meal today. :)

By the way, isn't that article crazy from last post? Just another reason thinner is always the winner. ;)

So i must be off, sorry for the lame short post. More tomorrow, now that my computer is fixed :D

I'm so fucking happy to be back.

Stay Strong

Think Thin

Love,

~Riki Ana

Lovely Returns and Computer Fuck Ups

Oh my god girls, I've missed you soooo much! Holy crap. All I've thought about is getting back to this blog!

My computer is sooooo f-ed up! It takes soooo long to load and ughhh, but luckily it's giving m a break so i can type this :)

I'm ready to restart my weight loss. I'm not exactly sure of my current weight. 115-117 is what i believe it to be in. But today...started off badly **cough-fries-cough** but later I'm going for a hike with my dog so liquids till then, after that I'm walking around town with my friend :) maybe some 10cal sugar free red bulls if my day goes as planned.
~*~

Yesterday i went into the city with my family. It was so much fun! I got a new purse, it's a blue Coach bag, we got it from this Chinese lady in china town. It was only 35 bucks and it looks really real. hahaha.

I have to go get ready for church, so this is my goodbye till later! (btw I'm in a good mood since i finally got to update-if you couldn't tell) <3

Stay Strong,
Starve on,
Love,
~Riki Ana

P.s. -Pour l'ensemble de mes beautés, je veux dire que je suis de retour. Je vous aime tous. Je ne vais pas vous échouez à nouveau. Je veux avoir le contrôle, le corps parfait, et l'âme parfaite.

Time for change

Current Weight- 116

My body is literally like "Ok, i get it. You can stop eating now. Really, it's not that big of a deal. Come on!"

My mind is like "Must eat more. Cannot fuck up belly. Stop eating, but i can't!"

Gah it is annoying.

Anywho, i changed my profile pic :) The pic i used is from the thinspo from like 3 posts ago.

I am in love with Red Bulls. They are sooooo tasty. Ahh, i have nothing to talk about! Sorry, my life is pretty boring at this point.

I guess i'll tell you about my trip.

We went to this place where my grandma's timeshare is. It's like this giant beach condo like place. There are like 10 buildings with three floors in each. And in each building are like 30 rooms are something.

I was with my dad, his girlfriend, her daughter, me, my bro, and my sister, oh and my bro's best friend.

There was NOTHING to do there. Yes the beach was literally less than a minute from our house. And a pool on the other side of the building. But when your just there with no one to talk to, it gets boring.

So on the first night we we're there my sister wanted to star watch. I didn't want to be in our room so i said sure. The gf's daughter came with us.

So we parked our buts in a nice spot and we're talking when a hot dude walked passed us. The daughter, let's call her Z, said "i like your shirt." he then said "i ain't got a shirt on!" btw- we where in the south so everyone is southern....i have always had a slight southern accent even though I've lived in Jersey all my life.

Long story short, his hot friend came over and we all talked until 1 am. :D But then we had to get out of there cuz the southern charm turned into creppy dudes hahaha. Go figure.

But still it was the best vacation i've had so far. :)

I guess that's i have to say for now.

Love,
~Riki Ana

Fairy tales

I wish i could go somewhere. I want a adventure. I want to live in my own place.

i want....

A lot of stuff.

I mainly want freedom. So i can make my own mistakes, my own decisions, and sink or swim.

But alas, i am only 15. i graduate in 2 years though. Then it's off to college....hopefully. Let's hope i get enough scholar ships so i could actually go.

When ever i think about money and stuff like that, i get worried so i sink back into teenage land-where you have enough freedom and safety to be happy and not worry about 'grown-up stuff'

Sometimes I'm happy being a kid. Like now-ish.

Mainly i just wish i lived in a fairy tale.

I worry wayyy to much. The biggest things on my plate now are,
-find a job
-read summer reading books for school
-get school supplies/new clothes

I know, easy. Well for a teen, there aren't. What work place wants to hire a 15yr old with no skills?

the reading....what ever. I'll do it, then i have to write an essay. :[ I'm bad at essays.

School clothes.... yea, the biggest problem is getting something then when i wear it to school i discover i look retarded.

gah, i sound stupid.....I'm going to stop talking about this now. ;)
~*~

I think I'm going to show you guys a picture of me soon. So you can put a face with the words.
Just a warning....i have man face. hahaha. Really, i do! I have my older brother's face put on mine, except i have wayyy more girly lips. And i pluck my eyebrows. but we could be twins. :D
~*~

Food wise today sucked. Damn devil tacos. In the words of a very nice commenter..... or the somewhat words, I'm kinda ad libbing a little, but they are still technically, somewhat HER WORDS!!!

Be happy that you lost 2lbs, some people can't lose that in a week. Any weight lose is a good sign.


So, i'm going to stay chill and work hard and just be happy.

Anyway,
I better be off to bed.
Sweet dreams my beautiful princesses/princes.
Love,
~Riki Ana

P.s. -I'm starting to look for some great male thinspo for you guys!

Never is a promise you can't afford to make.

Tomorrow my loves is going to be a liquid fast. :D I originally was going to do one today but i decided to eat and take my vitamin, so i could just do it tomorrow.


Anyone want to join??
Ahhh! I'm so excited to finally get that 'i haven't eaten all day' feeling :)


Not much to say....so i guess this will be a short post.

Here's some gorgeous thinspo to inspire all of you!


Hmmmmmm, I just had a thought. Does anyone want me to get guy thinspo too? I'm like 95% sure I have guy readers, so would anyone like dude thinspo instead of chicks for a change??
~*~

Stay Beautiful

Love, Riki Ana

Quotes!

Since I'm bored, I'm posting all of these inspirational quotes. :D ENJOY!!!!!

~*~
If hunger is not the problem, then eating is not the solution.

Don't dig your grave with your own knife and fork.

Your stomach shouldn't be a waist basket.

A diet is the penalty we pay for exceeding the feed limit.

More die in the United States of too much food than of too little.

If it tastes good, spit it out.

One should eat to live, not live to eat.

Rich, fatty foods are like destiny: they too, shape our ends.

Nothing tastes as good as being thin feels.

Life itself is the proper binge.

Blessed are those who hunger and thirst, for they are sticking to their diets.

Bigger snacks mean bigger slacks.

I'm allergic to food. Every time I eat it breaks out into fat.

To lengthen your life, shorten your meals.

You can't lose weight by talking about it. You have to keep your mouth shut.

Brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat cells live forever.

Starving is not a piece of cake.

If food is your best friend, it's also your worst enemy

People say that losing weight is no walk in the park. When I hear that I think, yeah, that's the problem.

My advice if you insist on slimming: Eat as much as you like - just don't swallow it

Clogged with yesterday's excess, the body drags the mind down with it.

I want my hipbones to be as sharp as my mind.

Fat is not a moral problem. It's an oral problem.

If you wish to grow thinner, diminish your dinner.

Be miserable. Or motivate yourself. Whatever has to be done, it's always your choice.

~*~

I hope you were inspired by that!

Everyone have a wonderful day and, of course,

STARVE ON!!!!!

See ya my skinny bitches!

Love,
~Riki Ana
xoxoxo

Wanting

Oh how i wish this medication would just be over with.

My ear still is fucked up :( I'm going for a hearing test tomorrow. My doctor said i should regain it fully, so that's good.

On my b-day we went to the beach, my mom really wanted to and i want her to be happy, so i said sure. It was PACKED. Our parking spot wasn't too far away. Then we were standing on line for 10 minutes and i almost passed out.

My mom was freaking out, saying we should leave. HELL NO! i didn't sit in a car for 3 hours just to almost pass out and ruin every one's day. so i drank a lot of water.

I'm fine mostly.

How are you guys doing???

~*~

Ooh, and here's a thinspo treat for you all!

Love,

~Riki Ana

xoxoxo

HELLO? Anybody here?

Ok, so may i just say Crisis averted. I ate normally this past week to avoid suspicion. But now I'm back.

I have a 3 day long weekend thanks to Memorial Day. This weekend will be my getting back in the groove of things. Today is the 29th of May. I thought I'd be around 95 lbs by now. But no. I'm at 115.5 D: it's my own fault. I take full responsibility for it too. But i'm going to stop and take on a new goal. By July 4th i WILL be 95lbs.

So far today i've had a Nutria-grain strawberry bar. That's 140 cals down the fucking drain. I'm giving myself a 500 cal limit. Includes liquids.

Ooh, new favorite thing alert. I LOVE strawberry or lemon flavored water! It tastes AMAZINtG and for 0 cals!!! :D

For lunch i think i'm going to eat some fruit, probably watermelon or something.

Then for dinner.... a salad with salsa?!?! Mmm.

I hope you guys are still reading. I hope you didn't lose my blog. :(

If your still out there,

Love you guys,

~Riki Ana

One word, many complications. MALL

It's 10:14 pm. I have to get to bed soon, since i have to wake up early tomorrow. Today i ate around....750-850 cals. Not Bad.




I was going to fast today but i decided that since i'm going to end up eating something crappy, i should have my metabolism going.



I feel fat. *sigh* I've been looking at thinspo all day, and now i'm just plain old depressed.



I've been having a lot of food thoughts all day. Many the most evil words EVER spoken WETZEL PRETZEL **Gasp** all i've been thinking of is a sinfully cinnamon pretzel. Mmm


But then i think of the dress episode from a while ago, when i couldn't get it over my head. D:



But come on, It has the word sinful in the title! Who would want to eat something sinful? What marketing company is like "What should we call this?" "OOH ME! PICK ME!" "Anyone anyone at all" "ME! OVER HERE!" "*Sigh* Ok what is it." "SINFUL CINNAMON!" "But why would you eat something sinful?" NOOO MAKE IT THAT *cries* "Ok, ok it's sinfull!" "YAYYYAYAYAY!"


~*~
I have to thank Ana Banana for the beautiful blogger award! I'll do that official post tomorrow. :)


:) :D :) :D :) :D :) :D :) :D :) :D

Anyway, i'm sleepy. Good night everyone! Or Good morning if you life somewhere like that!

I wish i looked like her laying down ^^^^

One Day i will.

Love,

~Riki Ana

xoxox

Hunger

MY.HEAD.HURTS. ugh, i feel like crap. I can't tell if it's from not eating all day or just the sickness. Either way, IT SUCKS.

In other news, i'm hungry. Wow, that exciting. During lunch i felt a crack in my armor but i got a vitamin water instead. YUMMY! So my only intake so far was water and a zero-cal vitamin water. :D

My tummy hurts :( it feels acidic, sort-of.

~*~

OhMyGosh- i got your email! I'll text you as soon as possible....I just need to find my phone haha

I feel all rambly. Like i can't have a coherent thought, it just side-tracks into another one.

GAH! I'm writers blocked.

~*~**~*~*~**~*~*~***~*~**~*~*~*~*~

OK here we go again.

I'm staying strong today. NO FOOD. On Saturday, as you all know, I'm going to get my dress. Then that night I'm sleeping over my friend C's house. Her dad, who is a AMAZING cook, is making us dinner. She said either Pizza, or Spaghetti. **HIGH CALORIE ALERT** There is also going to be a lot of snacks. I'm not fasting today, just to have it ruined then! SO I'm taking a sleeve of rice cakes to snack on all night. :)

Another thing is i have to do a entire 10pg drama project DUE TOMORROW! Ugh. I hate my teacher. She doesn't tell us anything until the day before. SO all-nighter for that shit. :(

Ok, I'm to jambled to write anymore. Sorry for the crappy post, just had to fill you guys in!!!!

Love,

~Riki Ana

Gahh

Yesterday's treat was a little.....Large. Which is like my weight right now. Today was....let's refer to today as a EWWWWW day, shall we?



Tomorrow=No excuses.



I'm sick of lying to myself every fucking day. I wake up in the morning saying "Ok, i'm going to do good! Remember your fasting today. Water and Juice" Then around 4th period right before lunch, i ask myself "well, should i eat? Something small maybe? A side salad?" Of course not. I get fries. Disgusting cafeteria fries. Oh and listen to this. The lunch lady just immediately says "fries?" and serves them without even looking up to see my order. Yea, i'm that person. I'm a fat, coming back for more, customer.



I'm disgusted with myself. I need to not give up halfway through the day!



I'm making a promise. I'm fasting tomorrow, and i PINKY SWEAR to you guys that i will not break it.





~*~
Anyway, i've been thinking about the whole cigarette thing. That has been the main topic of my mind for the past 2 days. I'm still trying to decide whether or not to smoke another one. Like, i've been through the health classes, I know the side effects, i know it's bad. But oh, is it alluring.


But then i think of my mom, and her smoker's cough. Then again, i think of it's effect of getting rid of cravings. I believe over the years, i have smoker's lungs already. Whenever my mom smokes she blows it towards me instead of my sister, since my sister has bronchial something. :/


I know for a fact, my brother AND sister smoke, what? i'm not entirely sure, If you catch my drift.



So, i'm thinking.


~*~
I'm like 99.9% sure i'm getting sick. My throat is starting to hurt, and my neck itself hurts, my back hurts, ughh i'm all achy. :(
Anyway, to brighten your day and mine here is a beautiful pic i discovered. I'll think about her while i fast tomorrow!

Love,

~Riki Ana

Oh god

Hello, my lovely skinnies.

Today was suckish. I'm not eating tomorrow-(Hopefully) Saturday. Why might you ask? Well, this Saturday i'm going dress shopping for my best friend's 15th birthday. It's this July 11th. I don't want to be fat. Really i want to be 95 by then. I face this question. Should i get a tiny dress for the weight loss i hope i will have? Or, do i get the correct size, and IF i do those the weight, have it be slightly baggy on me?

Tough call. What do you guys think?

Anyway, I'm in a ehh mood. I had to take a 3hr Bio test today, that was just joy full. Then i found out that i have a World History Test tomorrow on top of another 3 hr Bio test. Whoo-fucking-hoo. So i have to study for that. Yay! We all know how much i love studying. -_-

My mom is buying a pizza. I'll think i will have a slice. You should have heard my tummy during the test. It was pin-drop quiet and all you hear is **GURGLE***GROWL*** Yea, i'm that person haha.

Who knows, maybe i'll treat myself tonight as a little "last party" sort of thing. I'm not really in a body-hating sort of mood, though i will be on the scale bright and early tomorrow. o_O

I bought a lot of low-cal food items too. So that's good. I leave on the note of a thinspo pic, and the smell of pizza coming from upstairs.

Love,

~Riki Ana

Slow and Steady wins the race

Down .5 so i'm 113 today. Ehh, i would be happier with more but i did crack and have a bowl of mac and cheese on top of the 700 cals i had. But i didn't feel hungry at all so i say GOOD DAY!

I'm going to try to be Slow and Steady wins the race But in the final week before June 1st, it's going to be HURRY THE FUCK UP TO WIN THE FUCKING RACE!!! haha

Anyway, you guys said yes, so BRING ON THE THINSPO! Woo-hoo YAYAYAYAY!

Love,

~Riki Ana

Stay Gorgeous xx

No more excuses

It's going to start raining soon :) I LOVE the sky right before it rains. It is BEAUTIFUL.
Whenever i spell beautiful i say in my head B-E-A-U-TI-FUL. hehe.

Anyway my scale weight was NOT what i was expecting. I was expecting 117 or some shit like that.

But i got.....113.5

I know, wow, what the hell happened?

But right now i'm saying, Forgive myself, use this as a learning experience, and do better today.

So far zero cals. It's 9:12 am. Not that big of an accomplishment but so far so good.

~*~

OHHH, remember thinspo girl like 2 posts ago? She could refuse food like the boss. Well, my world history class had a party and there was SO much YUMMY food there. But guess what i ate?
2 servings of salad and a sun-chip. YAY! i felt awesome. Everyone around me was stuffing their face with chicken parm, pasta, bread, and CAKE. But not me! Nope, i refuse. Oh and people were drinking their high calorie soda's i had coke zero. Who ever brought that in THANK YOU!!

I felt AWE-SOME.
~*~

I hope you enjoyed my previous post. It was a little insight into the can of crazy called my mind. :D

Anyway, i'll probably sit home today. I'm aiming for 1oo cals of liquid today.

Maybe thinspo later hmmmmm?

Love you girlies
~Riki Ana
Stay Strong
xoxox

Long way to go

Well, good news is i lost weight! I'm down to......110.5

Yesterday i tried to give myself snacks to munch on and that seemed to work.
All i ate yesterday was...
*Breakfast: A rice cake
*Snack: 1/2 cup of grapes
*Lunch : 1/2 cup of grapes
*Dinner : 1 soup at hand- vegetable beef and a rice cake.
*Snack : 50 cals of orange juice

Do any of you miss eating soup and crackers? I did. Then it dawned on me that a rice cake could be like a cracker. IT IS! It was yummy and filling as hell!

Anyway my total was... 290 cals!!!!!

And my stomach was growling quite a bit, but i ignored it. I kinda liked hearing it though, it means my metabolism is at a steady pace.
~*~

Today is supposed to be the "No carbs day" on my diet plan. But everything in my house has carbs, even the salad. So I'm going to say fuck it on the no carbs, and just keep my count down. Today is less than 500. So I'll prolly stick to the same plan as yesterday.

The only soup i have left though is a creamy tomato which has a high cost of 190 cals. Maybe that will be my dinner since it's thicker and more filling, even without the rice cake.
Hopefully my day will be
*breakfast-rice cake: 35
*Snack- 1/2 cup of grapes: 50
*lunch- 1/2 cup of grapes: 50
*Dinner- Creamy tomato soup: 190
And all that would equal 325 cals under that limit.
Maybe a rice cake with dinner? +35 cals
That would make it 360. Still not bad.

~*~

On Friday, we had this party in my English class for Shakespeare day. There was a HUGE table of food. As i said before, THIS is why i had gained weight :( Anyway, there is this one thin girl, like really thin. She's always in plays and things. Like for the play i was stage crew and down where they were changing. I caught a glimpse of her with no shirt. HOLY SHIT. She looks like an Ana godess!

ok, back to the story.

With all of this food, everyone was munching away. Not her though. Then someone opened the bag of carrots on the table and she shouts "Yay! Carrots!" Who, that is normal, shouts for carrots? I immediately envy her. Why don't i have her willpower? Then she sees the raspberries and and has 1 or 2. So with all of this amazing food around she eats 2 carrots and 2 raspberries.

She was also wearing a low cut top. Hello ribs. you could see everyone of them! ::drooling::

So maybe she's Ana? Wouldn't doubt it. Or a freaky fast, healthy eater. Who knows. But if she is Ana she sure as hell gets away with it.

New THINSPO!!!
I will have more willpower than her.
I will have power over sweets.
I will have HER envying ME
I will have a gorgeous body.

Love,
~Riki Ana
Stay Strong

Give me one reason to be fat, i'll give you a thousand and one to be thin.

I'm soooooo sorry girls/guys. I fucked up. My mom forced me to eat. I should have sneaked around it. FUCK. Oh did it end there....NO.

Today, i'm going to hang out with a friend. This particular friend, whenever we hang out, we just walk around town, for hours. So it's a great workout.

I've decided that today is my fasting day. I'm so sorry to those girls/guys who actually tried the fast yesterday. :(

I'm so ready this time around though. For the past few days, i feel like i didn't have the drive to actually starve. But i was trying to re-inspire myself, and i saw this post from http://www.starvingtobeperfect.blogspot.com/

"If you want to lose weight, you have to work really fucking hard for it. Put down the candy. Don't go to the vending machine. Eat half or a quarter of what you normally would. And for Christ's sake, EXERCISE! That means at least 30 minutes of cardio!

Otherwise, it ain't gonna happen.

It just won't.There's no magic to it. You can decrease your caloric intake and burn more calories and then lose weight. There isn't any other way around it.

Yes, you will feel hungry. No, you won't die from that feeling. Drink some water, suck it up and maybe this summer you won't have to suck in your fat stomach. "

When i saw this, i felt like i actually needed to put in some work, "stop being such a lazy cunt"-my bro, and get my ass in gear if i want to lose weight.

I hope her words have also thinspired you also.

~*~

Yesterday i was on the couch and my shirt rode up to show my belly. My brother walked over and poked it. "squishy belly" he said. Then he proceeded to lift up his shirt and show me his 6 pack. Yea because i, the 14 year old, have a gym membership and go everyday to get said 6 pack. "Yours so bloated, you know guys hate soft bellies. It's disgusting." Then walked away.

Now i'm not trying to bash my bro, i love him, but he gives me great motivation. Who the hell wants a squishy belly?!?!?
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I pinky-promise not to fail today's fast. (I take pinky-promises VERY seriously.)

Love,
~Riki Ana

xoxoxo