Reconnecting

Before the Ana news,

Going through hearing my stepsister attempt suicide has got me thinking. It's always been the thing stopping me- feeling the way i did when i thought i lost her was heart breaking, and i can't put anyone through that...
~*~

Anyway, today was a pretty normal eating day but i went to go buy bud and ended up taking a nature hike but stupidly i was in flip flops. Even though that was annoying i still had a great time, it was awesome being able to go off a main road into this endless seeming forest un-touched by man. So freeing and amazing.

And I defiantly burned cals going up those trails.

I'm going to sleep like a baby tonight.
Stay Strong and Starve On,
Love,
~Riki Ana

Burned out

So its summer!! i have my last final tomorrow then i get out at 10 and im hanging out with my dad all day :)

For my birthday, i'm giving myself a quarter. For those who dont smoke, its $120 and its a large quantity of weed. Im excited :)

My friend who i smoke with quite often always talks about how shes a "stoner" truthfully even i dont classify myself as that bc I may smoke a lot but no where enar the amount of some of the kids i hang out with. One of my friends smokes half a quater a day. I smoke what a dub every couple of days? not bad

Though i have gotten high 6 out of 7 days this past week :)

She didnt know how to use a bong or a bowl. wtf????????
~*~

I repierced my belly button. I love it now. I wonder why i didnt like it before?

I was 112 lbs on monday. it was nice, but ive gotten munchies EVERY FUCKING TIME i smoked. wtf

i think i've eaten 12 bags of skittles in the past week, and a disgusting amount of twix bars.

ITS GOT TO STOP.
~*~

I see i have 151 followers now. HOLY SHIT!

i love you guys so much!

I want someone to talk to, so comment!!!

Love,
~Riki Ana

Sometimes all you need is that little shove...

Hola my beauties :)

Friday i did end up going to the beach, i ate a hot dog and fries from Nathans, i had a slice of pizza from a pizza place, then for dinner we went out to Chili's and shared appetizers- Nachos, Artichoke and spinach dip, and this spicy cheese dip. Mmm.

Friday Night, i slept for 2 hours.

Saturday, I woke up extremely depressed. I don't know why. I felt like a fuck up and failure in all aspects of my life. I ate a cookie from Dunkin Donuts to make me feel better, than i had a little bit of popcorn, and personal pizza, then for dinner i had a piece of grilled chicken.


*EDIT* My blogger fucked me over and didn't publish my whole post. It only published up to here. It was a good fucking post too. Goddamn it. Here's my crappy re-write :(

I slept all of Saturday, and all night. I woke up about half an hour ago. It is Sunday 940 AM

On Saturday whenever i woke up i was having trouble distinguishing my dreams from reality. My dreams were so realistic, my mind couldn't tell the difference.

This morning i woke up feeling physically- euphoric kinda like a high, but not quite there. I had an urge to weigh myself.

116.

I lost 4 lbs. :)

I know it's not a lot, but it's the shove i need to really start my weight loss.
~*~

At the beach there was an obviously anorexic girl. Her arms were so thin there was no meat, just skin wrapping bone. The only part of her that was "thick" and i use the term thick VERY loosely, was her calves. they were very muscular.
Truthfully it was kinda gross looking. I don't like the whole "so thin i could drop dead at any moment" look. I like the slightly underweight, model looking kinda anorexic.

But that's just my personal preference.
~*~

So i did stop smoking for a day. That day was easy as fuck. I realized something, I'm not addicted to cigarettes yet. But here's the thing i enjoy smoking. I like the feel of it curling in my lungs, the look of it coming from my parted lips.

My friend who smokes said this, once you stop enjoying smoking that's when your addicted. I do something i enjoy, once i stop enjoying smoking ill stop.

Im so annoyed blogger didnt publish my whole post. It was so fucking well worded, and i cant remember the way i put shit and all of the topics i touched on.

FUCK YOU BLOGGER.

Love,
~Riki Ana

Can everyone say stoner?

How are my beauties today?
It's 11 am and im high as a fucking kite. :)
Last night i stayed up all night robotripping.
For those who don't know what that is, it is when you drink cough syrup to get high.
Like Robitussian+Tripping=Robotripping
I drank it at 1030pm reached my peak at 230 then came down around 10a, ish
and now i smoked a bowl, and now im high again.
Maybe i shouldnt be doing this, but i say Why Not?
It makes me feel better than alright.

And in Ana news, this is the kinda high that im not going to get munchies with.

Fuck yes.

Love,
~Riki Ana