I'm Back!!

The day before yesterday i got back from my vacation in North Carolina. For once it was quite......entertaining. I lost 7 lbs during the 4 day trip even though i ate like a pig. I went from 120 to 113. Right now i'm at 115.

But i cannot lose any weight for the time being.

Why, might you ask? Because on said trip i got my belly button pierced. If i was any skinnier i wouldn't have been able to get it done. The guy said i was so thin and my stomach was so tight that i had barley any skin there. Also if i lose any more weight my piercing will start to move out of my body because the skin will strecth tighter.

I regret getting done. :( I just don't like it, it doesn't feel like me. I'm thinking about taking it out before it heals so i won't have any scar from it.

But my dad will be pissed because he paid for it.

Gah, i don't know what to do.

Ooh, i have picture for you!!! I have one of my piercing and a picture of me. I look like crap in both. I was on vacation! Who tries to look nice on vacation, seriously?!?!


I was sitting down so my tummy looks big.

*Picture has been removed by author*

It was windy so my hair was crazy, haha. I'll show you better pics next time. In that pic i wasn't happy because I was bored so I'll get you guys one of me smiling next time. :)

That's all for now!

Love,

~Riki Ana

Re-do

I'm ready for a re-do of my body, of my life, and of myself.

These past couple weeks of my hiatus, was...oh how should i put it...Bad. I'm quite...unqualified to even try to wear a bathing suit right now.

I've broken a new record with my weight. And no, that's NOT good. My new high weight as of yesterday was 119. But don't worry my sweets, i restricted yesterday and brought myself back down to a still fat, 117.5

I'm also quite bloated, from our favorite....monthly curse.

I've started to put together a binder of things i want. Like the "easy tone" shoes (since I'm always walking) and this awesome dress, a fridge reorganization (looking forward for when i move out in 4 years *sigh*)

I just got the prettiest bikini yesterday! I. Need. A. Flat. Stomach. I have 10 days till July 4th. That was my goal for 95..... guess not. I have to lose 22.5 lbs to get to my goal. I'm striving for
1lb a day.

My main motivation is the belly button piercing I'm getting on August 20th. So, I'm excited for that.

Oh my loves, how i have missed you all. My mind is always here even if I'm not.
But don't you worry, because I'm back! :D

Maybe once i get my camera for my b-day I'll upload some pic of my bathing suit body....that is once I finally achieve that body.

Tomorrow I'm thinking I'm going to fast, in honor of school ending yesterday. You know what that means? It means, that I'll have more time to blog! :)

Until my fast tomorrow, fruits/veggies ONLY.

It's time for me to show my hunger who's boss.

Love,
Riki Ana

P.S.--Check out this awesome/thinspo song!!

Me and Mia- Ted Leo & The Pharmacists

As I was walking through a life one morning the sun was out,
the air was warm, but Oh, I was cold
And though I must have looked half a person,
to tell the tale, in my own version,
It was only then that I felt whole

Do you believe in something beautiful?
Then get up and be it

Fighting for the smallest goal: to get a little self-control
I know how hard you try. I see it in your eyes
But call your friends, 'cause we've forgotten what it's like to eat what's rotten
And what's eating you alive might help you to survive.
We went on as we were on a mission, latest in a Grand Tradition
And oh, what did we find?
It was Ego who was flying the banner, and me and Mia, Ann and Ana
Oh, we'd been unkind

But do you believe in something beautiful?
Then get up and be it

Fighting for the smallest goal: to get a little self-control
I see it in your eyes, I see it in your spine.
But call your friends,
'cause we've forgotten what it's like to eat what's rotten
And what's eating you alive, might help you to survive.

And even the nights, they could get better
And even the days ain't all that bad
And after a week of fighting, as more and more it seems the right thing

But do you believe in something beautiful?
Then get up and be it

Fighting for the smallest goal: to gain a little self-control
Won't anybody here just let you disappear?
Not doctors, nor your mom and dad, but me and Mia, Ann and Ana
Know how hard you try. Don't you see it in my eyes?
Sick to death of my dependence, fighting food to find transcendence
Fighting to survive, more dead but more alive
Cigarettes and speed for livin', and sleeping pills to feel forgiven
All that you contrive, and all that you're deprived
All the bourgeois social angels telling you you've got to change
Don't have any idea. They'll never see so clear.
But don't forget what it really means to hunger strike
when you don't really need to
Some are dying for a cause, but that don't make it yours.

And even the nights, they could get better.

YAY!

107.5 lbs!!!!!!!

Woo-who!

Ok so yesterday i went to the mall, all i had there was a couple water bottles and a diet coke. Then when i got home around 7-ish i had some chips/pretzels :(

But still after walking around for a shitload of time i STILL lost weight. THANK YOU LORD!

Today is Sunday and luckily i'll be some-what busy. I still have to,
-shower
-go to church
-work on some school projects :(
-walk the dog
-clean my room D:

And some other crap. If i didn't have that small binge yesterday, i'd probably be at 107, but to get rid of that .5 i'll work extra hard!

I'll probably be at 105 by Tuesday or Wednesday...

At the mall yesterday, the dressing rooms were...depressing. For some reason i somehow believe i can fit in sizes WAYYYYY too small for me. At "lunch" when i felt like i was going to give in, i went to a store before, and tried on a pair of tiny ass short shorts, so reverse thinspo and BOY, DID IT WORK. ewwwie, my legs are mega gross. I recommend this girls, try on a tiny pair of shorts before you eat and see if you still feel like eating.

Man i love you guys! You guys are the best thinspiration out there! Knowing i have to come home and write a depressing entry about everything i ate, makes me want to never eat again. Without you and this blog, i don't even want to know what i would look like. *shutter*

Right now, i haven't eaten or drank anything(should probably start some water...) and i look...ok. My stomach is kinda flat, i still have some bulge. My arms....They look thin, but if you pull on them or i move they are flabby. My legs...... Let's not go there.... So i need to get in shape and start a toning work out for summer.

Sorry girls, no matter how much i try, for some reason, summer wouldn't stop coming. D:

Oh well, we'll show summer whose boss!

This past week was hot as hell where i live. So i was wearing leggings one day. :( And soon i might have to break out the shorts..... Gahh, i'm not ready for shorts!

Anyway that's me freaking out ^^

Love,
~Riki Ana

Starve on